The Limit to Your Love (18+)

𝒿𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓇𝓎 𝓃𝑜. 174

𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 ℬ𝑒𝑒,

Funny thing happened today. LJ decided to play therapist and told me I'm NOT an actual polyamorous person. Apparently, I give polyamory a bad name because I'm so spectacularly bad at relationships.

It's not like I don't know I'm a mess, but having LJ spell it out like that was. . .something. It's ironic, considering how much I've tried to make this work, juggling everything, yet still managing to drop the ball. I've been so consumed with trying to make sure everyone feels valued and important, but maybe that's where I go wrong—spreading myself too thin and ending up disappointing everyone, including myself.

And then there's you, my dearest friend. I can't help but think about us, Bee. Anika got viciously jealous of you today when she saw us laughing over that old Parks and Rec episode. She said I always end up spending more time with you than with any of them. And I can't help but agree.

It's as if no matter how many times I try to balance things out, you're always at the center, the one I turn to, and yes, I can't blame Anika. Because she's right.

Remember that time we stayed up until 2am while I taught you backstrokes in the pool? I didn't pick up a call from Maeve because of that. Or that Saturday morning I ditched brunch with Daphne to help you fix your ancient laptop, even though I have zero tech skills?

I'm quickly becoming a terrible boyfriend, but turning out to be a five-star best friend—funny, right? It's not fair to them, really. But there's something about our connection that's different, stronger. I need to figure this out before I hurt anyone else.

For now, I'm just trying to process everything. Maybe I need to redefine what polyamory means for me and find a way to do better. For you, for everyone, and mostly for myself.

𝒢.𝒞.