Call Me Unladylike

"Well, sorry. I thought you fainted."

December 21, Last Year

I walk down with my untamed hair and morning breath. I go to the kitchen and open the fridge and find what I'm looking for.

"Ah, my love I have come for thee." I grab the white box and open to reveal the treasure,

"Sweet holy of doughnuts." I pick a pink doughnut that looks exactly like from The Simpsons. The holy goodness is snatched from my hands, which makes me spin on my heel and point an imaginary gun at whoever it is, "Give it back." I imitate a low and deep voice, hoping it sounds menacing.

"Honey, stop being a dork." My mum kisses me on the side of my head and straightens her arm holding the box, out of my reach. I try to jump for it but she back off as I pout,

"You already have one in your hand!"

I open my mouth to argue but the doorbell rings and I don't move an inch.

"Stop gloating." Mum says while frying some bacon.

I groan and stomp over the front door while taking a huge bite of heaven. I open the door and close it on his face when he bursts out laughing.

He bangs on the door, "Come on Charlie, open the door."

I roll my eyes and do as he says. I come face to face with his massive grin, "What are you laughing about?" I try to keep a stern face but I can feel the corners of my lips twitch.

"You have something..." He circles a finger around his mouth and he purses it.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and see my sleeve covered in pink frosting. I crook my finger and he comes close to my face. Then, I punch him.

"Ow, jeez. Do you have Aunt Flo visiting today or what?"

I narrow my eyes at him and wave my hand for him to come in, "Guess who's here!" I yell to my Mum.

"Rajan, I have bacon for you!" Mum screams back.

"I feel like you live here more than I do." I grumble and he replies with a smirk.

We sit as Mum serves us a mountain of bacon. I don't wait; I grab handfuls and start inhaling the bacon like a vacuum. The eerie silence makes me look up; just to see my Mum and best friend sporting the same horrified look, "What?" I talk with my mouth full and a piece of chewed bacon lands on RJ's face. His face scrunches up as he wipes it off his face. I guffaw.

They both shake their heads at me and chat like I don't exist. I just roll my eyes at them and continue eating.

I love food.

"Charlie!" Loud footsteps run down the stairs.

Mum and RJ look at me accusingly.

I count with my fingers.

3...

"Ugh!"

2...

"I'm going to kill you!"

1...

"Umph." I laugh as I see my brother's priceless face when impending doom is near, "I really hate you." He says as he stands up. Both RJ and I laugh when we see the red imprint on Ashley's right cheek.

I see my Mum slap RJ at the back of his head then glares at me when I laugh even harder,

"Charlie Mae Sawyers, take that string off." She tries to be serious but I know she's dying to laugh too.

Being an adult must be boring with responsibilities and all. I put my hands up in surrender and take the string off of wither side of the entrance to the living room.