𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨 (GxG)

Pretend

♕Vanessa's POV♕

So the dress fitting was torture, for me atleast.

I had to hear Victoria tell different stories, lovely stories about her and Anastasia which made me feel like a shitty person for ever considering kissing Anastasia.

Then not only did I feel insane guilt but also self conscious around a whole bunch of models.

I know I'm beautiful but when you're getting told by your mother and literal Victoria secret models that you need to cut down calories it get hard to remember how beautiful you are.

The whole time i was getting shots thrown at me unprovoked and my sister sat there and joined in.

I was told I shouldn't touch the snacks in the table so I didn't and I went the day hungry, I was told I wouldn't fit into my bridesmaid dress if I didn't do the fingers in the mouth method.

My thighs need to be more toned, waist needs to be smaller, boobs are to small, the only thing I have going for myself is my ass and eyes.

That's just some of the stuff I was told by Victoria and her friends and when I excused myself because I felt tears building up I was laughed at.

After that I went home and even though I was starving their words kept replaying in my head so I went straight to my room and slept the day away.

When I went to work for the next week I was to caught up in my head about my physical appearance to care or address the awkwardness between me and Anastasia.

Thankfully when neither of us decided to bring up the bathroom situation or acknowledge the obvious tension the awkwardness faded and everything was back to normal.

Everything but me.

I'm eating less and less every day and becoming overly exhausted because of it but I can't find it in me to eat a full meal without crying and I'm so fucking tired of crying.

I'm tired of comparing my self to beautiful woman on my time line, I'm tired of feeling disgusted with myself every time I look in the mirror, I'm tired of constant thoughts of eating knowing I can't push myself to physically do so.

I'm tired of letting others words affect me, I'm fucking tired of feeling like shit but I can't stop so I just pretend.

Pretend I'm okay, pretend I'm not struggling with my health, pretend I'm not falling for somebody forbidden.

Pretend.

Pretend.

Pretend.

That's all I've been doing lately and what I have to do more of durning this family brunch I'm currently on my way to.

Anastasia parents decided they wanted to hold a intimate brunch at their home, to get to know Victoria's family better.

By intimate I mean only me, Vance, our parents, the brides, Aaron, his wife and daughter are to attend this brunch.

And if I'm being honest I'm dreading the whole thing, being around a whole bunch of food I know I can't eat doesn't sound fun.

Especially knowing my mom is going to be watching my every move to make sure I consume the correct amount.

I groan just thinking about it then groan louder when I pull up to a huge black gate.

The gates automatically open up for my white BMW letting drive right in and get an view of this amazing brick mansion.

I shut off my car and make sure I have everything before stepping out my vehicle.

Pulling down my short baby pink body con dress I admire the view in front of me.