Chris x Parker oneshots ღ//₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳TattletailxFnaf

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥How does he feel? ༊*·˚

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥TW: Mentions of self harm

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Parkers POV

I've never been great at reading his emotions, that's a part of him that's always been a mystery. Yet he's able to read my every move like an open book, he knows my emotions, my dislikes, he knows my habits. He knows how hard it is for me to pull away from those habits.

Staring blankly at him now, I have no idea what he's feeling. His face tells me he's clearly upset, no not upset, he's mad. But the way he's gently washing my open scars suggest otherwise, I just don't get it! How can he be so gentle with me even though he's mad? Is he even mad? I'll never know. The dizziness I feel isn't helping, it just makes me more confused.

No one's fault but my own, I made myself feel like this. Whether I deserve to, who knows, I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm shaking, so he softens his touch, he knows how much I hate physical touch especially when I feel like this. But do I really hate it? I never feel icky when he holds me, if it were anyone else then maybe you could say I hate it.

The silence is making me panic even more, he finishes up wrapping my arms in bandages, my eyes wandered down to his hands, the blood from my scars staining them. I know the blood disgust him, but once again his face says otherwise. He just smiles awkwardly at me when he notices me staring at them, he uses a wet cloth to wipe them.

I watch as one of his hands slips through my hair, my cheeks start burning as I feel blush spread across my face. I'm sitting on my knees with my arms in between my legs, fiddling with my hands as he plays with my hair. Just a bit ago he walked in on me relapsing, after spending so much of his own time to help me get better. And instead of getting upset at me, he cleans up my blood and comforts me? But I know he's mad.

Mad and what exactly, me? I sure feel like that's it. But something tells me he's mad at himself, and he tells me that too. He's mad cause he feels like he didn't do enough, but he should be mad at me? Right? I'm the one who ruined all the progress.. And yet he's not mad at me, he doesn't yell, doesn't refuse help. What does it mean?

This British boy is so confusing, I'll never know how he feels. And sitting here now I realized after all that worrying and thinking I still don't have an answer.

And not having that answer bothers me.

𓆩♡𓆪