Love Charms and Donuts (JenLisa)

10: I Will Never Fall Unless It's You I Fall Into

"Let’s not go home yet, Lis. I want to show you something,” Jennie said after they returned to her car.

As they walked, neither spoke, but Lisa didn’t find the silence concerning. They were lost in their own thoughts—normal for two individuals. She didn’t worry that their relationship would be compromised by silence.

It was different with Irene. Lisa couldn’t stand her ex-girlfriend being quiet. She always feared it would create an unbridgeable gap. With Jennie, silence didn’t imply drifting apart. Yet, there were awkward moments now that she saw the gorgeous Korean again not just as a friend, but as a potential life partner. The difference was, she was so comfortable with Jennie that any awkwardness quickly dissipated. It surfaced here and there, fleeting and inconsequential.

“What is it, Mandu?” Lisa asked.

“Something important to me,” Jennie replied, starting the car engine and driving off.

“Where are we going?” Lisa asked when they headed away from the city towards a suburb.

“It’s only thirty minutes away. Don’t worry, I’ll get you home before dinner.”

Lisa looked out the window. After a few minutes, she glanced back at Jennie. “Thank you,” she said.

“For what?” Jennie tinkered with the stereo; 'Make You Mine' by Public played.
How apt. Lisa thought.

“For thinking of me, for always being there, for trying to help me no matter how silly or crazy consulting a Shaman might seem. It’s the thought that counts. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, Poopoo.” Jennie accepted her gratitude but sighed deeply. Lisa wasn’t sure why—maybe Jennie just needed to let it out. Lisa wondered if she was the one attributing too much meaning to mundane things. “And thanks to you too, Lis,” Jennie added.

“You should treat me, you know? I sacrificed my happiness for you,” Lisa joked.

“Why? Because instead of using the love talisman to get Irene back, you chose to use a repellent amulet on Chahee for me? Was that really a sacrifice?”

“Well, come to think of it, not really. I chose to do it. My best friend means more to me than any lover.”

“Yet it didn’t really work.”

“True. I mean, I don’t completely believe in magic working anyway.”

“Please. Maybe you just didn’t really want to forget about Irene.” Jennie rolled her eyes.

“I fell in love with Irene, and she was good to me. I don’t think I can completely forget her. She was special to me, sweet. But I think I’m over her.”

“Are you sure?” Jennie glanced at her.
Lisa considered. Was she really? Or was it denial? Then she looked at Jennie—same gorgeous features, catlike eyes deadly when angry and heart-wrenchingly cute when smiling her favorite gummy smile. Maybe her cheeks were a bit thinner now, and dark circles under her eyes, but she was still beautiful.

She was still the Jennie she adored ten years ago. The woman who had built a strong character over the years, admirable confidence despite starting with privilege. Jennie had made her own name, pursued her dream as a jewelry designer.

She was also the kindest, most generous, humblest person Lisa had ever met—just don’t ruin her outfit. That was adorable to Lisa.

What wasn’t there to love about Jennie?

“Yep. Positive,” Lisa declared.

“Uh-huh. Right. How sure are you?”

“Completely. These are my feelings, so I know. I realized what was happening when we talked at the hospital during Chahee’s... incident. I accepted what you’ve been telling me all along. I saw your pity for Chahee, your guilt over what happened. I saw your resignation, your decision to get back with her. I thought that’s what would happen with Irene, too. She might come back to me, but, like you, she wouldn’t truly be happy. So I chose to help you instead of clinging to something that was over. I’m ready to move on. Thanks for not giving up on me, Jennie.”