Two of a Kind

39

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▶︎ Once a Day - Mac Miller
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Kamryn

Throughout the night, I continued to wake up in the middle of my sleep. I couldn't sleep for more than an hour. Probably cause I'm hungry.

Amari was still sleeping, and I saw her hair was a mess. I looked at her squishy cheeks and wanted to pinch 'em. She's so precious. Then I thought about how she might be self-conscious about her hair when she wakes up so I grabbed her bonnet sitting on the night stand, then carefully wrapped her hair for her. Right after that, I felt a painful emptiness in my stomach and I knew I needed to eat.

I went downstairs and toasted two small breakfast sandwiches that I cooked from scratch and also grabbed two bananas before going back into my bedroom. Next, I sat my food at my desk and yawned.

When I realized it was three in the morning, I looked at my phone and saw ten missed calls from my mom at one in the morning. Immediately, it's a no for me. I'm not here for it. I'm just gonna open the call history then close it so then the notification bubble will disappear and won't bother me visually.

Calls after midnight mean she's probably having trouble sleeping too. More than five calls tells me that she's next to at least one bottle of alcohol. Most of all, the fact that she didn't text me tells me that it isn't any kind of emergency.

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this has happened.

I love that woman so much, but she my biggest headache, I swear. I hate when she drinks alone, especially late at night. We vowed together to no longer drink alone on this past New Year's, but now she's back to her old habits. There's only so much I can do to help her.

Habitually, I been problem solving with alcohol and drugs, or gym workouts, but it's too early for all that. Something about the air shifted over me and gave me chills on the back of my neck and my shoulders. In that moment, I thought of an old friend advising me to try journaling. I never tried doing it, but I figured that's just writing what you're thinking. Can't be too hard.

I grabbed a composition book and a pen and started writing the date and my name. I'm really programmed from school to start every assignment or test like that, but like... to me, that seems like how to start a normal journal entry. After that, I ended up doodling for five minutes cause I wasn't taking it too serious. All of a sudden, I couldn't ignore an overwhelming heavy energy that bared my shoulders. I just got very quiet and mainly one thing was on my mind, so then I started writing down my thoughts once more. It helped me feel hopeful to reach out to my mom tomorrow. I actually started to get tired after ten minutes, so I put away the notebook and switched off the desk lamp. Then I snuggled under the cover with her and laid down on Amari's chest with my arms beside her like a loose hug and knocked out almost immediately.

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Amari

There was something that kept provoking me in my sleep and I could barely ignore it, even in my dream. When I started waking up, I felt a weight holding me down.

Am I tied down right now?

My stomach plummeted into my ass as I popped my eyes open immediately to see what was going on.

The only thing I saw was a silently sleeping Kamryn on top of me and I calmed down slowly. My heart was racing so fast, I was afraid that I was gonna wake her up with all the beating in her ear.