Dysphoria

Short story: Boy at camp (1/?)

Hi there ,

This is gonna be my first story for this book and I hope you all enjoy it. This is the first part and I hope you like it, let me know what you think. Enjoy.

Alexis woke up, it was only seven in the morning and camp wouldn't start for another two hours but she wanted to look good on her first day. She wanted to look like who she really was. Alex.

Alexis' parents had already left the house so they wouldn't know she went there dressed up as a boy.

She came from a homo- and transphobic family, when her cousin came out as homosexual his parents had kicked him out and he wasn't welcome at Alexis' parents' house, she never understood why. She didn't know she was bi at that time but she didn't understand homophobia. She hadn't told anyone she was interested in boys and girls and an even better kept secret, she knew her best friend things she is bi, she is actually an he. And now she would go to place where no one knows her and she can have a fresh start.

Alexis walked to the bathroom, still a bit sleepy and got in the shower.

She turned on the water and washed her short hair with her father's shampoo, for men was written on it. When she was finished she grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower.

She felt disgusted when her eyes rested on the mirror, a girl was staring back at Alexis, a thin girl that looked pretty masculine but still. Alexis had boobs, not big ones like her sister, who seemed to be very happy with them, so happy she'd even given them names, Miss Luna and Miss Lena, she was thirteen back then but she still used to call them Luna and Lena, if Alexis had to give hers names they would be the following, miss pain in the ass one and miss pain in the ass two, accurate names, luckily miss pain in the ass one and two were small enough to cover up. After struggling for a few minutes he had covered her breast and felt better, slowly the reflection of Alexis in the mirror changed in Alex's reflection. He/she smiled at the mirror and put on a tee shirt with the USS Enterprise on it, nerdy but it fitted well and hid the stuff that was used to cover up Alexis boobs and by the way, Star Trek and he also decided to wear his dark jeans from the men section. Alex had put on some make up to highlight his more masculine features. Now only his hair, he opened one of the drawers to stare at it for a while. He took out gel and a few other styling products for his hair. Finally a boy stared back at him. A smile spread over Alex's face he finally felt good, real. It took him almost an hour to change from Alexis to Alex.

Alex walked down the stairs, loudly playing music on his phone. He sang along with it and pretended to play the guitar. He had reached the kitchen when the guitar solo came and he fall on his knees, dramatically playing the air guitar like his life depended on it.

Alex made himself a tiny breakfast, he didn't want to eat too much because if he got to fat he would look more feminine and it would be harder to change from girl to boy, physically of course, mentally you couldn't change from girl to boy or from boy to girl, at least not as you pleased, yes of course you could mentally switch between genders but not on purpose. Alex checked his stuff and waited. He tried to pass the time by reading, but he was too nervous to focus, what if people figured out that he was actually born female? What if they didn't accept him? Alex felt sick when he thought of all the horrible things that could happen. He almost started hyperventilating, something he had done not very often, the first time was when he fall and needed twelve stiches, the second time was when he got his first period and the last time was when he started his new school, of her new school as everyone said, and he was hit on by a group of guys, calling him a pretty lady they wouldn't mind banging. Alex shivered when he thought about it, all the events had been unpleasant in their own way. He knew that a period wasn't the best time in a woman's life but he hated it even more, he felt disgusted by it and fell into depression, something that still had grip on him.