Swift as a Coursing River (LGBT+) | ✓

34. Avalanche

The bell rings and Edwin groans, squinting against the late afternoon light. It's Friday and he ended work early, but his nap has lasted longer than planned. He pushes himself up and winces at the cricks in his neck and back. That's what he gets for falling asleep on the couch for so long. Should have taken the nap in his bed, at the least, if he wasn't going to set an alarm.

He opens the door. "Vincent?" Is this another surprise visit? He's not sure he's up for Vincent's antics. He thought they'd just call tonight.

"Hey, darling. Didn't you read my message? I thought we could go out today."

"Oh. I fell asleep."

"You napped? I thought you would just about be done with work."

"I left early."

Edwin steps to the side so Vincent can enter. No use talking in the doorway. "Leaving work early is not like you," Vincent comments.

"And today it was." Edwin sinks down on the couch again and looks up at Vincent, who looks back with a frown around his mouth. Edwin dreads the questions forming in Vincent's head, because talking about the facts would prompt more questions and he can barely untangle the emotions.

"Do you want to visit Eliane, darling?" Vincent asks gently. It's so unexpected that Edwin stays silent and Vincent continues: "Just a nice and quiet evening. You can pet her kittens as therapy."

"You wanted to go out," Edwin objects feebly. "We can go out." He starts getting up again, but Vincent touches his wrist and Edwin plops down as if Vincent pulled his strings. He's too groggy still, too worn to put up any kind of resistance.

"You left work early. You napped. Wouldn't you rather have a quiet evening?"

"But you —" Edwin argues, without finishing his sentence. He doesn't have an argument, other than the desire to do what Vincent wants. It was just an annoying day; he can deal with that. They can go out and Vincent can have fun. Edwin doesn't want to hold him back.

"See? You know I'm right. Let's visit Eliane, sweetheart," Vincent states. Edwin huffs, both in fondness and relief. He doesn't want to go out, but he doesn't want to be alone either. Eliane has mentioned the newly born kittens of her cat a few times, but he hasn't had the chance yet to go over and see them. Petting the soft fur of a kitten and Eliane's steady company sound perfect right now. Therapeutic, as Vincent said.

"I'll call if she's free."

Eliane has no plans tonight and they can come over. Even just talking to her, Edwin feels a little better. He digs up leftovers for dinner and Vincent is quiet while they eat and drive over. Edwin's headache has disappeared and he just feels hollow now, after the day he's had. He doesn't want to think about it, and yet his mind keeps returning to the facts, the way it's been all week. It's worse today, after he spent an hour calling the hospital and being led in circles to get an appointment with a specialist.

Vincent asks about his day, but when Edwin's answers are short and vague, he doesn't push. Edwin is relieved. Maybe Vincent has finally learned when he shouldn't push. He doesn't want Vincent to prod and poke these soft spots, not when the argument with Ellen is still so fresh on his mind. He hates when he argues with her. He doesn't want to argue with Vincent, too, and if Vincent would push him on this, he would push back. Just the thought makes him anxious because if he argues with Vincent, he will lose. Vincent will steamroll over his arguments and make out his side to be the only right side, and Edwin will feel like a terrible human being for being on the other side.

But this is about him. His body, his health. His side is the only right side because only he has the autonomy over his body. Even Ellen can't tell him what medical decisions he should make. It stems from worry, but that's not an excuse.