Subtle Steps in Solitude is a poignant exploration of a young woman's journey through life's mundane routines and unexpected challenges. Priscilla "Cici" Tan is a 28-year-old financial adviser, seemingly content with her structured, solitary existen...
The air smelled faintly of rain, the city basking in that quiet calm that comes after a brief afternoon shower. I stood by the window of my apartment, watching as the sunlight began to creep through the clouds, casting a soft glow over the buildings below.
Remus sat by my feet, purring as he rubbed his head against my leg. I reached down to scratch behind his ears, feeling a sense of contentment that had taken me a while to recognize, let alone accept.
It had been more than a year since I decided to make those subtle changes, those tiny adjustments to my life. And though everything wasn't suddenly perfect—because life never is—I had found something more valuable than perfection: peace.
I hadn't quit my job or suddenly abandoned the ambitions that once drove me, but I had allowed myself to ease off the gas. To breathe. To accept that success didn't have to mean sacrificing everything that made me feel alive.
Jia, Lianne, Melissa—they were all still in my life, each playing a part in this strange, ongoing story of mine. And though my relationships with them weren't flawless or without complication, they were real. I had let myself be seen by these people—sometimes in moments of strength, sometimes in moments of weakness—and yet, they hadn't turned away.
That was new. And terrifying. But also... freeing.
I thought back to the conversation I had with Ma months ago. Though we hadn't fully reconciled the way I might have dreamed as a child, there was something lighter in the air between us now. We didn't need to pretend everything was okay or sweep our issues under the rug anymore. And that, for the time being, was enough.
It was slow, this journey of mine. Sometimes painfully so. I still had moments of doubt, still questioned my worth, my choices. But now, I recognized those moments as part of the process, not something to fear or suppress.
There was still so much of life left to unfold, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't dreading it. I was... curious.
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That evening, I found myself wandering the streets of the city, my steps light and unhurried. The world around me felt different, not because it had changed, but because I had.
As I passed by a familiar coffee shop, I couldn't help but glance through the window, half expecting to see Joshua sitting there, offering some wise, understated comment on life. But today, it was just me and the quiet streets. And that was okay.
I wasn't chasing after validation anymore, wasn't desperate to prove myself to anyone. The truth was, I had started to feel comfortable in my own skin—a feeling that had eluded me for years.
I reached for my phone, considering calling Jia, Lianne or Melissa. But then I hesitated. Instead, I simply slipped the phone back into my pocket, content to just be. No rush. No need to fill the silence.
As I made my way home, I smiled to myself. The silence wasn't lonely anymore. It was a different kind of silence—a peaceful one. One I had come to embrace.
And for the first time in my life, that felt like more than enough.
