𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄

ᴇɴᴛʀʏ #47 | ꜱᴘᴜʀ

047 | Spur

Nicolai didn't understand.

He didn't understand anything of what he was feeling when it concerned (Y/N), and it was starting to bug him. Currently, he was lying down in his bed with his arm covering his eyes and his hand lying on the sheets that covered him and protected him from the cool air. He was supposed to be asleep, but even as the evening crept closer to ending, the moon however still shining brightly in the sky that lit up his room, he couldn't.

She was consuming his mind.

What confused him was that, at first, she was merely an annoying background presence that kept him from sitting where he wanted to sit on the days that he actually attended class. Then he wanted to use her as a tool to completely crush Jian for being able to lead the life he was never able to live.

But then everything changed.

He started wanting to see her all the time, started wanting to protect her from certain people.

Namely Jian.

Letting out a low groan, Nicolai removed his arm from his eyes and stared up at the ceiling with drawn brows, puzzlement and agitation befalling his expression the longer he stayed like that. Finally, he couldn't stand the silence that made his thoughts seem so loud anymore and sprang upward, cautiously leaving his room toward the kitchen for a glass of water to soothe his mind. Letting the cool liquid slide down his throat, the light of the refrigerator the only thing lighting up the dark room, he let out a small sigh.

What the fuck, huh?

Thinking that someone like her could be expendable was just a wrong move on my part.

And now...

Now I don't even know what to think of her.

Leaning against the marble counter after setting his glass down, running both hands through his wild, dark hair, he wished he could control his emotions like he so normally was able to. While he lashed out a people for little things like he did with (Y/N) for sitting in the spot he wanted to, it was merely just a coverup to hide how lost he felt all the time.

Lost because of his father.

Because of Jian.

Because of his role in the world.

He tried to use anger as a coverup to drown out the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and emptiness that consumed him.

Then came (Y/N).

Goddammit.

Hanging his head, Nicolai knew that no matter what he could've done when encountering her, he probably wouldn't have been able to stop himself from feeling everything he did for her. He tried berating and crushing those feelings down until they were nothing but a distant memory, the more it came roaring back to life.

He didn't hate it, but it unnerved him.

It was such a sudden shift.

Such a sudden change.

He wasn't sure if he'd be able to go back to feeling okay if he revealed these emotions to (Y/N) and she only rejected him. Even just thinking about the possibility made him choke.

I wouldn't settle for that.

I would never allow myself to settle for an existence without the one I want.

I wouldn't.

And if that's the case, then no matter fucking what, I am going to make sure that (Y/N) is mine, and I won't let my shitty old man or Jian take her away from me.

With that thought in mind, Nicolai was finally able to retire to bed in peace, waking up the next day with wanting to see (Y/N) again as soon as possible. He ignored Jian as usual when seeing him in the kitchen, Mr. Orval having already left by that time, and was gone as quickly as he appeared out the door. He didn't even notice that Jian looked more agitated than normal, or that he was still in his pajamas with a warm bowl of soup in front of him rather than cold cereal, too consumed with thoughts of (Y/N).

What do I want from her?

Do I just want her to stay away from Jian, or is it something more? Is it because I want her to stand up to my father?

What is it about her?

As this question rang through Nicolai's mind while driving to school, that very same question resounded through Mr. Orval's mind. Sitting at his desk in his office at Florens, a tablet in hand that displayed a picture of (Y/N) and the information on her that his servant had uncovered about her, he sighed. He wanted to know everything about her to see exactly why his son—including his adopted one—was so enamored by her.

There's nothing special, though.

Throwing the tablet back on his desk and pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, Mr. Orval tried to think positively, but couldn't.

What is it about her? Why does Nicolai and Jian seem to be so fond of her?

It's unusual.

Everything that my servant uncovered about her was boring, dull, and plain. There is the instance of her kidnapping... but that was because Miss Blanc was likely mentally ill.

Now she's dead.

Crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair, Mr. Orval continued scanning (Y/N)'s information and could see that there have always been many strange incidences around her, but there was nothing strange about her. She was a perfect model student along with her stepbrother Amar, she participated in clubs and fundraisers with her friends, and she had an almost perfect attendance record with no other flaws.

She's normal.

By all standards—besides the unusual events surrounding her—she is a normal girl.

So...

Why do you like this girl... Nicolai, Jian?

Lacing his fingers together, Mr. Orval's eyes flicked up when the door to his office creaked open and the son that he was just thinking about walked in. As Nicolai wasn't prone to visit his father's office, it was a strange sight to any, however he had a reason for being there.

"Jian just texted me since he can't reach you," he rolled his eyes as he showed his father his phone. "He's sick. He won't be in today."

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To be continued...