wintumn - their love.

34.

As the night stretched on, Autumn remained curled against Winter, her grip on Harlow loosening as the little girl fell deeper into sleep. Winter kept his arms wrapped protectively around them both, sensing that Autumn still needed the closeness. The silence between them was thick, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was filled with unspoken understanding, love, and the weight of all the emotions that had flooded over Autumn throughout the night.

After a long while, Autumn gently shifted, laying Harlow down beside them on the couch. The little girl stirred for a moment but stayed fast asleep, her tiny hand still resting on Autumn's arm. Autumn gazed at her daughter, her lips trembling as tears silently rolled down her face again. "I'm sorry," she whispered, barely able to get the words out. 

Winter looked down at her, his expression soft but filled with concern. "What are you sorry for?"

"For everything," Autumn replied, her voice cracking. "For being a mess. For... everything I put you and the girls through. I just... I don't deserve any of this."

Winter's brow furrowed, and he cupped her face in his hands, tilting her head up so she would meet his eyes. "Autumn, don't say that. Don't ever think that. You're here, and that's all that matters. You don't have to be perfect for me. You're enough, just as you are."

Autumn blinked, more tears falling, and she leaned into his touch, craving the warmth and love that radiated from him. "I just... I'm so scared," she admitted, her voice trembling. "I don't want to drag you and the girls into my mess. I thought I could run away, make it better for you all, but..."

Winter's heart ached hearing her speak like this. "Autumn, you're not dragging us into anything. We're in this together. I love you, and the girls need you just as much as I do. Don't you see that?"

Autumn closed her eyes, letting his words sink in, but the fear and doubt still gnawed at her. "I've just made so many mistakes," she whispered. "I don't know how to fix any of it."

Winter brushed his thumb gently over her cheek, wiping away a tear. "You don't have to fix anything alone. We'll figure it out, one step at a time. You're not alone in this. I'm not going anywhere."

Autumn's breath hitched, and for the first time in a long while, she let herself believe him. She leaned forward, burying her face in his chest, the weight of her guilt and fear crashing over her again. But this time, she wasn't drowning in it. Winter held her steady, his hands stroking her hair and back, grounding her as she cried into his chest.

Minutes passed, and the tension that had been coiling inside Autumn slowly began to loosen. She still felt raw, vulnerable, and afraid, but Winter's presence was like a lifeline, reminding her that she didn't have to carry it all by herself.

Eventually, Autumn lifted her head slightly, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "Thank you," she whispered.

Winter pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll always be here, Aut."

A quiet moment passed before Autumn glanced at Harlow, still peacefully asleep beside them. "I just want to be a good mom," she admitted softly, her voice barely audible.

"You are," Winter assured her, his tone firm yet gentle. "You love them, and that's what makes you a good mom. We all have struggles, but that doesn't change the fact that you're amazing with them."

Autumn nodded, not fully believing him but appreciating his words nonetheless. She let out a shaky breath and rested her head against his shoulder again, feeling a little lighter, though still overwhelmed.

After a few more minutes of quiet, Winter spoke again, his voice a soothing hum in the stillness. "Why don't we go to bed, Aut? The girls are okay, and you need rest."

Autumn hesitated, not wanting to leave this safe, comforting space, but she nodded eventually. "Okay."

They carefully picked up Harlow and carried her to her crib, making sure both her and Mayella were settled. As Autumn stood there, watching her daughters sleep, a small, tired smile tugged at her lips. Despite everything, this moment—watching her children safe and loved—was a reminder of what really mattered.

She turned to Winter, who was waiting by the doorway, and took his hand. Together, they walked back to their room.

As they climbed into bed, Autumn still felt fragile, but as Winter wrapped his arms around her, she knew she wasn't facing it alone. She nestled into his chest, letting his steady heartbeat lull her into a calmer state.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Autumn allowed herself to let go, even if just for a moment. As her breathing evened out and sleep finally began to claim her, she whispered into the darkness, 

"I love you."

Winter's arms tightened around her. "I love you too."

And for now, that was enough.