we meet again? | B.E

fifteen

"go upstairs, to my room." she told me, her voice left no room for argument. i wasn't planning on doing so anyways.i took off my shoes and made my way there, my skin itchy again. my clothes were still soaked and it was beginning to get uncomfortable.

i waiting there for maybe five minutes, getting bored. just then, billie walked in and glanced at me for a moment. "you can sit, you know?" she said, pointing to her bed. i nodded and sat there, waiting for her as she went through her drawers.

her room was messier than usual. yeah, she wasn't the most organized person ever, but it was usually more of an organized chaos. this was just chaos.

"are you cold?" she asked, turning around. i nodded, and she faced the other way once more. i fidgeted with the skin around my nails. "here," she told me handing me massive sweatpants and a hoodie. "do you need help, or are you good?" she asked, i shook my head, mumbling a small 'no thanks'.

she turned around and waited for me as i changed quickly. the hoodie smelled like her, and it brought me a little comfort. "are you finished yet?" she asked, gently. "yeah." i said, and stood back up.

we walked down the stairs in a tense silence, i could feel my chest tightening with nerves. "go sit on the couch, don't move." she commanded. i sat down with no complaints and waited patiently.

i didn't even mind that she was telling me what to do. my entire existence was to make her happy, and that was what i'd do. she could tell me to drive off a cliff, and with a small smile from her i'd do it. i just wanted her to be happy with me too, and if doing whatever she asked meant that, then i'd do it. i was absolutely full of her, she consumed me, and i was not mad.

as long as she didn't hate me, i'd be happy. i'd wait at her hand and foot for eternity.

she sat down only minutes later, with a cup in hand. she set it on the coffee table gently. i gave her a questioning look. "its chai with oat milk and sugar, i didn't have almond. sorry." she mumbled.

she remembered my favourite tea.

how could she even remember that, it's been years since i even mentioned it. i pouted, and she gave me a serious look. i tensed up and sat up a little straighter, feeling like a child about to be scolded by her mother.

she turned around and fished for something in a basket in the corner of the room, "so fucking stupid."she muttered to herself angrily. she pulled out a blanket and put it around my shoulders, then sat down in front of me.

she rubbed a hand over her temple, sighing deeply. "what were you thinking, walking all the way here in the pouring rain? you could get sick!" she chastised. i nodded mutely, "i genuinely cannot believe you. do you know how mad i am right now?" she asked, shouting. i nodded, i don't want her to be mad at me. i rubbed my eyes, ready for the tears about to build up.

"eve, you're so dumb. why would you do that?" she questioned, her tone softer. i rubbed my eyes again and itched my arm, it felt like it was on fire. she noticed it and took my hand away from it, her thumb moving gently back and forth on the back of my hand.

i wanted to speak, but no words could form. "i'd never ask that of you, please, never ever do that again." she said, i nodded. "god, i'm so mad" she mumbled to herself, putting her free hand over her forehead. i wanted to cry so badly.

"i'm sorry" i muttered weakly, she shook her head. the only thing that i could take away from the tornado of thoughts in my head were 'please don't hate me' just repeating, over and over again. she gave me a gentle look, pouting ever so slightly.

"as mad as i am, i could never hate you, eve." she said gently. i let out a sob of relief, covering my face with my hands. i felt like all i'd been doing for the last few days is crying, crying, crying. i wanted to stop, but i couldn't. i need to stop being a crybaby.