Weather For the Brave

Chapter 6

As I expected, Matthew did not continue our conversation once we got into bed. He seemed to go straight to sleep, and I was almost glad for the alone time, because it gave me a chance to think about Eric.
It was infuriating that we saw each other so much, simply because it made me think of him that much more. During the first stage, he was only present during some of the fights, and even then he looked bored, so I didn't really pay him any mind. But now...
What was it that he said? Everything I had done was perfect? I wouldn't dare take that as a compliment, knowing him. If I wasn't more careful, everything could unravel, and that was something I definitely did not need.

***
We were not awoken peacefully. Four loudly clancked two pieces of metal, then threw them on the ground, leading to more commotion. There were now eight of us; Sam, the Candor boy who I first fought, as well as Amy, an Erudite, had both been cut. Matthew called Sam's fate karma.

As soon as we were all dressed, we were lead to another part of the building that housed (what looked like) research rooms and security rooms. Four made us sit in a small hallway; two rows of chairs faced each other, and there was a door between them.
For about two hours, Four called initiates into the room that the door led to. People came back out twenty or so minutes later, some took more time, some less. Some of them left noticeably shaken; Matt exited with puffy eyes and a runny nose. As he passed by me, I stuck out my hand and he gave it a quick squeeze. As the third hour approached, Hafsha, Nathan and I were the only ones left waiting. We didn't speak, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. However, when Tristan came out sobbing, his whole body so consumed by what had happened in the room that it had physically affected him, we all gave each other nervous looks. Nathan was obviously worried about his cousin but he kept his thoughts to himself.
Four remained in the hall once Tristan was out of sight. "I am going on my lunch break," he announced in a monotone voice, his instructor persona still on. "Eric will be here to oversee your... Appointments."
And, as if appearing from thin air, Eric rounded the corner and was suddenly in our space. He greeted Four with a grunt as he passed him, and stood at the doorway. He settled his eyes on me. "Are you coming in now or should we reschedule?"

***

"Sit down," he ordered. I did as I was told and found that the chair was not as uncomfortable as it looked.
"You will be facing your worst fears, Ms. Lane. I will inject you with this serum that will map out the landscape in your mind; it will also allow me to see inside your head."
My eyes widened a bit, but I quickly got myself in check. "That doesn't sound so bad-" I was cut off when he leaned over, pushed my hair aside, and stuck a needle in my neck. I felt a shiver run through my whole body and swallowed hard, feeling the effects start.
"Any words of advice?" I asked drowsily, my picture of the man in front of me becoming blurrier.
"You don't need any," I think he said, as my vision turned black.

Just like when I took my aptitude test, when I 'awoke' into my landscape, it felt all too real. I was wearing the same clothes I was wearing in the test room with Eric, black workout leggings and a black muscle tank. I stood in the middle of an empty field, and I immediately knew that I was in Amity. I turned and turned in circles, but all my eyes could see was wheat and trees and patches of grass. No people, no houses.
Finally, on one turn, everything began to show up.
People were walking, laughing. I recognized some of their faces. The familiarity of it all almost hurt my chest; I could've stayed here with my brother and not jeopardize my life. I quickly turned that thought away, and started to walk towards everyone, when suddenly a shot rang out in the air, and then madness ensued. The same joyous, calm and peaceful people began to punch, kick, smack and bite one another. There was another shot, and then there were Dauntless everywhere. Unlike the Amity, I didn't know any of these Dauntless soldiers.
"Stop!" I yelled, running towards everyone. "Stop! Please, stop!" I was running at full speed, in a voice so shrill and desperate that I wasn't even sure if it was mine. I was getting closer and closer, but just as I almost reached an Amity girl crying out for help, her head bloodied and arms cut, I slammed into something. An invisible force stopped me from getting to her; I was only a few feet away from her. I quickly got up off the ground and put my hand out. It was like a glass screen.
I started walking towards the left, feeling my way across the invisible force that felt like concrete but was anything but. My breathing became erratic when I noticed other people coming towards her, Amity and Dauntlesss alike, like a pack of wolves.

"Stop!" I screamed in that same desperate voice, pounding on the glass. It didn't even budge, but I didn't stop. The people came closer, and a sick feeling began to take root in my stomach, like when you know you can't keep something from happening, you know you're going to fail.
At last, an Amity woman appeared with a gun, and before she could pull the trigger, I was back at the test room.

I quickly sat up on the chair, and the first thing that I noticed was that the same feeling of dread was still festering deep in my stomach. I coughed and coughed, like I had just swallowed an impossible amount of water and it was threatening to come back up.
"What happened?!" Came a hard voice from beside me. I snapped my head to my left where Eric sat, arms across his chest and an angry expression on his face.
"I don't know," I said breathlessly. "I was panicking and I really didn't want to see that and-"
"So you pulled yourself out?" He almost growled.
"I don't- I don't know! Is that even possible?" I asked and touched my face. It was warm and I was surprised that I hadn't cried.
Eric narrowed his eyes at me. "What was it?"
"Huh?" I asked, pulling my eyes back to his.
"What was so terrible that you couldn't face? What were you scared of?"
Coming out of someone else's mouth, the words would've been curious at worst but with Eric they were taunting, almost suspicious.
"What, you didn't see? They were all killing each other!" I felt my voice tremble.
"Who the fuck cares? We are all trained to do that! How was that scary?!" He was yelling at me now, leaned forward in his chair.
"No, no, you don't get it," I said shaking my head. "It looked random but it wasn't. All those people were organized, they all had the same idea in their head. I didn't have a side to go on because no side was doing the right thing. I couldn't help anyone," I added the last part softly, looking down as I did. "It was chaos, Eric, and I was scared. Wouldn't you be, if you didn't know whose side you were on?" I asked almost pleadingly.
"I'd be on my side, initiate. Now get out," he said with a scoff, turning back on his chair and writing down some notes. I got up and walked to the door, but Eric continued.
"You'd better get some rest, because we will be finishing this tomorrow, I don't care how scared you are," he said the word 'scared' with a laugh. I managed not to roll my eyes and instead opted to exit the room, closing the door silently behind me.

Hafsha and Nathan looked up when I exited. I tried to give them encouraging smiles as I walked pass them.
Why did Eric react so irrationally towards what I had seen? I knew that Four and him were supposed to help us get past them in order to become better fighters, no, soldiers. But didn't you have to understand something in order to beat it? You couldn't just fight aimlessly against something. He baffled me so much that something he'd told me had almost escaped me- he said that I had willingly woken up from my landscape. Was that even possible? There was only one person that could possibly know the answer.

I ran into Four in the hallway leading up to the training room. He was walking towards me with two other men, laughing (!) and generally looking like a friendly guy.
"Four!" I called out to him, although I had no reason to since he would have seen me either way. He raised a thick eyebrow at me, his eyes still holding a light humor to it.
"What is it, Victoria?" He asked, now in front of me with the two guys on either side.
"Victoria, is it? Are you the initiate who's been sending everyone to the nurse?" The guy on his left spoke, scratching his beard as he did so. He was taller than Four by a few inches, his skin darker as well. His beard along with his neatly buzzed hair made for a very handsome guy.
"Uhh, I guess so?" I answered, not knowing how to respond. Would you ever own up to hurting people? I thought.
"Ander, a pleasure," the dark-skinned man stuck out his hand. I grasped it firmly and shook it once, but before I could let go, Ander grabbed me by my elbow and pulled me to him, looking at my face closely. All I could manage was a few short breaths as he studied me for a few seconds, before he let go and turned to Four.
"She's upset, Four. You should talk to her. Junior, let's go have a drink," he said the last part to the other guy, who just nodded once at me and walked past me with Ander.
"Ander thinks he's psychic," Four said, shrugging. "Sometimes he's right, and the only way to find out is to ask. Are you okay?"
I knotted my fingers together. For some unexplainable reason, I felt that I could trust Four.
"I'm fine," I said, taking a breath. "But I would still like to talk to you, if that's okay."
Four looked at me with an unreadable expression, his dark eyes scanning my face. He gave me a quick nod after a few seconds. "Sure, I'll take you to my office."