Without You

11

The next day, I force myself out of bed, numb and exhausted, but I don't have a choice. I can't stay in the house anymore, not with the weight of everything pressing on me. Not with my mom barely holding onto herself and Ella's absence still clawing at my chest. I need to get out. I need some space, even if it's just for a few hours.

I get dressed, mechanically, pulling on the first thing I find. My fingers move without thinking, but my mind's still lost somewhere between last night and the ache I can't shake. When I look in the mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back. My eyes are red, my face pale, but I force a smile anyway, trying to convince myself that I can make it through today.

When I get to school, the air feels thick like something heavy is hovering over me, ready to crush me at any moment. I walk through the hallways, head down, trying to avoid the stares, the whispers. But it doesn't work. It never works.

Tanner is the first to spot me. His obnoxious laugh echoes across the hallway, and I can feel his eyes on me as he walks up, flanked by Daisy, Taylor, and Lewis. I'm not sure which of them is worse, but they're all cut from the same cloth. They know exactly how to make my skin crawl. I try to keep my gaze fixed on the floor, pretending I don't hear them, but I can feel the heat of their attention burning into me.

"Look who finally decided to show up," Tanner says and I don't even look up to know that smirk is plastered on his face. "Didn't think we'd see you today." His eyes flicker over me.

Is he still upset about that punch?

"Aw, what? You gonna ignore us now?" Taylor says, her voice sweet but laced with venom. I feel her hand on my shoulder, a forceful shove that makes my skin crawl. "I thought you were 'tough', Amore."

I shrug her off, quickening my pace, but the more I try to get away, the closer they come. Lewis laughs too, his voice echoing in the hallway, and Daisy's eyes narrow with that look that always feels like a threat.

I can hear Alex and Aaron voices behind me now, too, trying to catch up with me. Their footsteps falter for a moment before they approach, their voices rising above the noise of the hallway. But I don't want to hear them either. Not today. Not after what they did.

"Amore, wait," Alex calls, a hint of panic in his voice.

"Don't listen to them," Aaron adds, his voice low and trying to be reassuring, but it doesn't reach me.

I can feel the bile rising in my throat, the overwhelming urge to run, to escape from all of them. from everything. They want to talk to me now? After everything? After what they took from me? After the silence they forced me to live in?

My heart beats faster, panic squeezing around my chest. I stop walking, closing my eyes for a moment, trying to hold everything together. I can't stand the thought of them being near me. I can't stand the way they look at me like they still have some kind of claim, like I owe them something.

I turn sharply, meeting Alex's gaze for a split second before I speak, my voice tight and cold.

"Don't talk to me," I say, forcing the words through gritted teeth. "Don't ever talk to me again."

There's a moment of silence, a beat where nothing moves, where the air feels too still. I can see the surprise in their eyes, the guilt flickering across Alex's face. But it's too late for apologies, too late for any of that. The damage has already been done.

I walk away, faster this time, the sound of my footsteps loud in my ears, drowning out everything else. But I can't escape the feeling of their eyes on me, like they're still watching, still waiting for me to break. It feels like the walls are closing in.