You're Already Gorgeous

Pleasing Others

       Both guys and gals can get trapped in nasty relationships when they feel like they must please people. It's a desire rooted in all of us: to be liked, accepted, and loved. For a lot of us, we've had very little of that in our lives. 

      In teenage years, it can be especially tough. Everyone feels alone, yet they don these masks of perfection. I cannot tell you this enough: some of the most popular people in this world are the most disatisified.

      Why is that?

      People want to be accepted. So they build walls up around who they are. They change themselves in appearance or lifestyle to be how they think will be desirable. Anything the crowd they want to be in wants, they'll get.

      It's the same for adults to. In the workplace, in the dating aspect...

     Everyone just wants to be loved.

     It's a whole God must fill, friend.

     People will never satisfy you the way you yearn for. No one can love you enough. You can throw all sorts of things your life: money, family, drugs, boyfriends....but nothing fits. Nothing satisfies. Nothing.

     Nothing but God.

     Relationships are fulfilling. They really are.

    But not if you're not already fulfilled in who you are in Christ.

   You see, friend. You gotta be confident in who you are before you worry about any kind of relationship- whether a family member, friend, or boyfriend.

     Real relationships build you higher than you already are. And you build the other person higher than they already are. But you can't expect that other person to build you a foundation. You gotta know who you are already.

You can't expect someone to shape you as a person. People who allow their foundation to be destroyed and rebuilt the wrong way by the wrong person end up broken. The relationship ends and since that was your only foundation- your everything- you feel lost, betrayed, and lose your sense of self. That's not what God wants for you.

That's why you must build your foundation on Him, the only man who will never let you down. And I mean never.
You may feel like he has already. If God loved you, why'd he allow your boyfriend to dump you? Why did he let your mom die of cancer, or allow your abusive father to get drunk and beat you.
The truth is, I don't know exactly why. Why'd I get a chronic illness that makes it hard to walk or an allergy that makes it impossible to eat out? Why did my chronic illness get to point where it almost killed me before we found answers? Why did I have to struggle so much.
I don't know, but I know it was for good. And without my struggles, especially the ones with image, I wouldn't have penned this. I couldn't have helped others struggling through the same thing. Fighting the same battles.
The thing about people like us who've hurt and struggled so long and so hard, is that we often find ourselves almost begging for attention from other people. Sometimes we find a friend. Sometimes we find a wolf in sheep's clothing that rips apart our heart.
Don't let that be you.
Not again.
     If a relationship is wearing you down, you gotta seriously talk with the other person. Especially family. You shouldn't be tearing each other down.   You should be building each other into sky scrapers.
However, it is different with abusive relationships, whether it be a father or boyfriend. Often times, people who are abused don't realize the extent of the problem. No one- and I mean no one- has the right to lay a hand on you or make you do something you don't want to do. No one should ever be possessive or demand to know everything you do. For a definition of abuse, click on the link I'll post in the comments.
     And, of course, talk to the Lord. Ask Him to help you feel fulfilled and happy in who you are. Ask God to help you rely His truths instead of a person for your self-confidence. And if you're struggling in a relationship tell Him about that, too. If you're feeling fearful of someone, ask Him to give you strength to get help. He cares more than you will ever know.
    Find you self-esteem not in clothes, money, friends, or family.... find it in God.
He will never, ever hurt, abuse, abandon, cheat, or turn his back on you.
That's a promise from God Himself.

    Goodbye my gorgeous friends.

    Until next time,

    Katrina