Take A Chance With Me

21: fractured words

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MAVEN

Weeks had been passed at dumating yung araw na kinatatakutan ko.

The atmosphere in our apartment had been tense for days, like the quiet before a storm.

Ac's latest book had just received a national award, and I couldn't have been prouder.

Watching her shine at the awards night had made my heart swell. But the celebration didn't last long. 

One night, as we sat on the couch after dinner, Ac broke the news. 

“May bagong offer para sa isang libro” She said, her tone tentative yet excited. “Gusto nilang magsimula agad sa outline at draft.” 

I looked at her, my fork pausing mid-air. “Isa pa? Hindi ka pa ba masyadong pagod? You've been juggling the hospital, deadlines, and promotions for 'Afterglow'. Can't this wait?” 

Her excitement faltered, her brows furrowing. “Mave, alam ko ang pagod, pero hindi lahat ng pagkakataon na ganito dumadating. It's a great opportunity.” 

“Opportunity na dagdag na naman sa stress mo? Ac, alam mo ba kung gaano na kita hindi nakikitang nagpapahinga?!” My voice rose, the concern and exhaustion I'd been suppressing finally spilled out. 

She crossed her arms, the spark of joy in her eyes now replaced with defensiveness. “Kaya ko, Maven. Hindi kita binibigyan ng dahilan para mag-alala.” 

“Hindi iyon ang point ko!” I shot back, putting my plate down with a thud. “The point is, masyado mong pinupush ang sarili mo. And honestly, hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan mo pang tanggapin ‘yan ngayon.” 

Ac's eyes narrowed, her tone sharp. “Kailangan, kasi importante sa akin! Hindi mo ba naiintindihan 'yon?”

The conversation escalated quickly. Words we hadn't dared say before spilled out in the heat of the moment, sharper than we intended. 

“Hindi ko naman sinasabing mali ka, Cress. Pero parang lahat ng iniisip mo, career mo lang!” I snapped, pacing back and forth. 

“Career ko lang?” Her voice cracked, the hurt in it evident. “Mave, hindi mo ba naiisip na lahat ng ginagawa ko, para rin naman sa future natin? Para sa pangarap ko na pinangako ko sa sarili ko, pati na rin sayo?” 

“Pero kailan naman ang pahinga mo? Kailan naman ang time natin?” I retorted, my frustration boiling over. “Parang mas inuuna mo na ang trabaho kaysa sa kung anong meron tayo.” 

Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, but her voice was steady and cutting. “Maybe ikaw ang may problema. Dahil kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ka masaya. Lagi kang may kulang, Mave.” 

Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. I turned away, clenching my fists. “Hindi totoo ‘yan.” 

“Hindi totoo?!” She stood now, her voice trembling. “Bakit? Kasi ayaw mong tanggapin na masyado kang critical sa akin? Parang lahat ng kilos ko, kailangan aprubahan mo! Maven napapansin ko lahat— do you think hindi ko alam yung mga ginagawa mo sa mga dapat projects ko?” 

“Critical? Critical lang ba ang pagiging concern ko! Ac, hindi mo ba nakikita kung paano ka na parang sinasakal ng mga ginagawa mo— I am doing this for you” 

"Sa akin o para sa sarili mo?"

"Fuck that question, hindi mo ako naiintindihan!"

"Then make me understand!"

"I can't kasi hindi ka naman nakikinig!" I was out of breath and she was too because of the rising of our voice.

The argument reached a point where we were no longer listening to each other.

We were too caught up in defending our sides, in throwing words that we both secretly harbored but never voiced. 

Then, without another word, I grabbed my jacket and keys. 

“Anong ginagawa mo?” She asked, her voice shaky but laced with anger. 

“Lalabas muna ako” I said coldly, avoiding her gaze. 

“Mave” Her voice softened, but I was already at the door. 

“I need to clear my head.”  I left without another glance, the sound of the door closing echoing in the silence. 

Outside, the cool night air hit me, but it did little to ease the turmoil inside. I walked aimlessly, my mind replaying our argument over and over. 

Was I too harsh?

Did I push too hard? 

But a small voice in my head countered:

Was I wrong to want her to slow down? 

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Back at the apartment, Ac sat alone on the couch, her arms wrapped around her knees.

The silence was deafening, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator. 

She stared at the blank page of her notebook, her chest tightening with guilt and hurt. 

“Where did it go wrong?” She whispered to herself, her voice breaking. 

The tears she had held back during the argument finally spilled, and she buried her face in her hands.

For the first time in a long while, Ac felt lost—uncertain if she had made the right choices, uncertain if Maven would come back, scared to be alone.

As the hours stretched on, the weight of the unresolved tension pressed heavily on her. And yet, deep down, she knew that this was a moment they both had to face. 

Because sometimes, even the strongest of loves needs to endure storms to grow stronger.

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