Liability [Simon Ghost Riley]

live

Phoebe trudged into the house, kicking the door shut behind her as she shrugged off her coat. The weight of the day clung to her, heavier than the chill outside. She avoided looking at the photo of Simon by the door, the one she still hadn't moved. His grin in that picture felt almost mocking now, a reminder of what she'd lost. Four months gone, and she still couldn't reconcile the idea that he was never coming back.

The deck called to her, though she wasn't sure why. She grabbed a blanket and stepped outside, the biting cold stinging her face. Simon had built the deck the summer before last, insisting it would be "their spot" for early mornings and lazy evenings. She traced her fingers over the worn wood, his handiwork still solid beneath her touch.

Her gaze drifted to the yard, barren and lifeless under the season's grip. The once-bright flowers Simon had helped her plant were shriveled, reduced to blackened stems poking from frozen earth. She didn't realize she was crying until her cheeks burned from the mix of tears and cold. The flowers felt like a cruel metaphor, as if they were fading along with him, leaving her with nothing but memories and silence.

She sobbed until she had no tears left, her chest heaving as she pressed her hands to her face. The sharp vibration of her phone startled her, and she fumbled for it, wiping her cheeks hastily as she saw Johnny's name on the screen.

"Hello?" she answered, forcing her voice to steady.

A thick Scottish brogue came through the line, a lifeline of familiarity. "I'm shocked you answered me, lass. Finally figured out how to pick up the phone, have you?"

Phoebe let out a weak chuckle, hoping it masked the shakiness in her voice. "Sorry, Johnny. I've just been... busy."

He didn't buy it for a second. "Aye, busy burying yourself in work, I reckon. It's fine, lass, no need to apologize. I was just worried about you."

She sighed, staring at the lifeless yard. "I'm fine, really."

"Don't lie to me, Phoebe," he said softly, his tone gentle but firm. "I know you better than that."

Her resolve crumbled. "It's just... hard. I feel like I'm barely keeping afloat. Some days I think I'm okay, but then... something small reminds me of him, and it feels like I'm drowning all over again."

There was a pause, and she could hear him take a deep breath. "Phoebe, you've got to give yourself a break. Simon wouldn't want you to live like this."

"I don't know how to do anything else," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "I just... I miss him so much."

"I know you do," Johnny said gently. "But you need to step away, even just for a bit. Go somewhere you've always wanted to. Clear your head. It doesn't fix everything, but it might help."

She hesitated. The thought of leaving, of facing the world without Simon, felt daunting. "I don't know, Johnny..."

He pressed on. "Do it for him, then. You know he'd want you to live. Not just survive—live."

Phoebe closed her eyes, her heart aching. "I've always wanted to see his hometown. He used to talk about it all the time. He promised to give me a tour."

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "Then go, lass. See the places he loved. I'll even meet you there for a day, show you around. You don't have to do it alone."

"Really?" she asked, her voice tinged with hope.

"Aye. Just give me the dates, and I'll take care of the rest."

Phoebe started to protest. "Johnny, I can't let you—"

He cut her off. "No arguments. Simon would've wanted you to have this. Let me do this for you."

She hesitated, but the warmth in his voice soothed the jagged edges of her grief. "Okay. I'll start looking at flights and hotels."

"Hotels? No, lass. Just send me the dates. I'll handle it all."

Phoebe smiled for the first time in what felt like forever. "Alright, Johnny. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Phoebe," he said quietly. "And for Simon."

As the call ended, she sat in the silence again, staring out at the dead flowers. For the first time, she let herself imagine something beyond the winter—a trip, a chance to see Simon's world, and maybe, just maybe, a glimpse of herself coming back to life.

--

Phoebe lay in bed, the blankets pulled tightly around her, but the chill in her chest remained. She stared at the ceiling, her mind drifting despite her exhaustion. The room felt emptier than usual, the space beside her unbearably vast. She closed her eyes, desperate for sleep, and let her thoughts wander back to the last winter they spent together.

Simon was in the bathroom, the light spilling out into the bedroom. She watched him, leaning against the doorway, toothbrush in hand, clad only in his briefs. His tall, muscular frame was a sight to behold, his tattoos stark against his skin. The ink told stories she hadn't heard all at once—some pieces he'd shared, others he said he'd tell her someday. Now, she'd never know them all.

He caught her watching and raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "You staring at me again, love?"

"Maybe," she teased, propping her chin on her hand. "You're not exactly hard to look at."

Simon chuckled, shaking his head as he turned off the bathroom light and made his way to the bed. The mattress dipped under his weight as he slid in beside her. Before she could curl up, he reached out, pulling her against his side.

"Bloody hell, your feet are freezing!" he grumbled as her toes brushed his leg.

Phoebe giggled, her mischievous grin hidden in the dark. "You're my heater. It's your job."

"Is it now?" he muttered, feigning irritation. She pressed her icy toes between his thighs, and he gasped, jolting. "Get your icicles off me, woman!"

She burst into laughter, clutching at his chest as he groaned dramatically. Still, he didn't let her go. Instead, he pulled her tighter, wrapping his arms around her.

"You're impossible," he said, his voice muffled against her hair. "Should I turn the heat up?"

"No," she replied, nestling closer. "I've got you."

He sighed, his breath warm against her temple. "Right, then. But I swear, for Christmas, all you're getting is socks."

Phoebe laughed again, the sound light and full, and his lips brushed the top of her head in a soft kiss. "Sleep, love. Big day tomorrow."

She drifted off that night, her smile lingering as Simon's steady heartbeat lulled her into peaceful dreams.

Now, in the silence of her bedroom, her eyes fluttered open. The memory felt vivid and real, as if Simon had been there just moments ago. She reached out instinctively, her fingers brushing the empty space where he should have been. A sharp pang of loss struck her chest, but it was quickly replaced by something softer, warmer. For the first time since he'd died, she realized, she'd recalled one of their moments without crying.

She smiled faintly, her fingers resting on her heart. "Thank you," she whispered into the quiet, as if he might somehow hear. Then, closing her eyes, she let herself fall into a dreamless sleep, her heart a little less heavy than before.