The 3rd Experiment

Chapter 28

The next morning, I wake up to Alpine making biscuits on my shoulder. I reach out to pet her and she starts purring almost on impact.

I step out of Steve's room and head to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His shirt draped over me like a dress.

I lean on the counter, sipping my water and I watch him, fast asleep on the couch.

I wonder what he's dreaming about. Does he dream about life before? Before the serum, before 2011. Or does he dream about his life here, in this new world?

I set my glass down and open the fridge. Maybe I can make him some breakfast before we have to leave. Upon further inspection, he doesn't seem to have much food at his disposal. He has a half dozen eggs, a half-empty container of lunch meat, and about a sip of milk. His fridge is empty otherwise. Not to mention, his cupboards are relatively bare. He has some containers, salt and pepper, and a coffee machine.

This might be unusual for anyone else, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Steve was raised poor so he really knows how to ration his groceries. And he's always been a bit of a minimalist.

"Good morning," I hear a groggy voice say from the living room. I look over to see Alpine curling up against Steve's chest. He picks up the cat and moves her to a chair and he stands up from the couch, revealing his bare chest.

"Holy shit, Rogers, what did that serum do to you?"

He looks down at his chest and smiles shyly before grabbing his shirt and covering up.

"You're not too bad yourself, I saw your biceps last night." He walks up to me and playfully hits my arm. "You want some breakfast?"

"Yeah, I'd like to see you do that." I say, in reference to his lack of food.

"What, you don't like eggs and ham?" He says, very nonchalantly.

"You don't think you'll need more groceries?"

"Sure but I'll worry about that later. how many eggs do you want?"

I smile at him and shake my head in disbelief. "I'll take three."

We enjoy our small breakfast, Alpine included, and head back to Stark Tower. This time, Steve just drops me off at my appointment and leaves to pick up some groceries.

"Good morning, Dr.Burnette." I say, taking my place on the couch

"Good morning, Raya," She says with a smile, "You seem to be in a good mood today."

"I'm trying to be."

"Well, I'm happy to hear that. Has Tony talked to you about what we're hoping to achieve today?"

"Not really," I say, and I can't help but cringe at my own uncertainty.

"He would like us to try hypnotherapy."

"Oh- that doesn't seem so bad."

"In the cases I've seen like yours, where brainwashing has taken place, a method like hypnotherapy tends to work well. It has something to do with how well an unmade mind can be molded." She explains.

I'm very hopeful that this will work but I can't lie and say that I don't hate the way she described it to me.

"I want you to pick a somewhat neutral word that brings you peaceful emotions. A word like a favorite color, or animal."

"What about a favorite flower?"

"Yeah, that's perfect." She smiles at me.

"Daffodil. My favorite flower is a daffodil."

"Wonderful. I'm going to assign you that word as your trigger word. A trigger to pull you out of the episodes."

"How does that work?"

"We'll have to train your unconscious brain to use that word as a sort of off switch until we can pull all of the bad out of your mind."

"And how do you know that it's worked?" I ask, starting to get nervous.

"We'll have to simulate a situation that triggers you. That's the only scary thing."

"I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that."

"We can work up to that. In fact, I'd recommend that we do. It's easier over time."

"Okay. Alright then, what do you need from me?"

"All you need to do now is get comfortable, whether that be laying down or just leaning back, I want you to try to loosen any tension you're feeling in your body."

I lean back against the couch, resting my head against the top of the cushions, and do everything I can to calm myself and my nerves but it feels nearly impossible to just let go. To not be in total control.

She tells me to close my eyes, and she starts creating a world for me to imagine.

"Picture one of your trips to Coney Island. Steve is there, and so is your brother, Bucky."

She paints such a rich picture that I start to feel the sun on my skin, I feel my cheeks holding a smile even though my face hasn't changed. She walks me over to the ferris wheel, telling me to get into a car by myself and take it all the way to the top.

When I'm up there, she tells me to look around. To realize that I'm not in control but everything is still so real and so beautiful. The ocean around us, the breeze moving my hair.

And just one car over is Steve and Bucky, talking and laughing with each other. She's right, I'm not in control but everything is okay. Everything can be okay.

***

It feels like a few minutes later, she's urging me to open my eyes and I feel like I'm waking up for the second time today. Once again, the session is over and I can't believe that I've been here for more than 20 minutes.

"How do you feel?" She sets her pen and notebook down on the table.

"I feel lighter. Is that weird?"

"Not weird at all. A lot of the time hypnotherapy this intense can feel like lifting a weight off of your shoulders."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I start to cry but this time it's not out of sadness, or fear. I'm happy. This might be the first time I've felt happy since Bucky got his orders.