He's An Amewiccan Beauty (Frerard)

1: Vampire Capitalism

It was seven am, Frank was waking up in the morning - he had to have his bowl, and cereal, everybody was rushing, and time was going, he had to get to his bus stop, he had to catch his bus, and see his friends, and of course have a hardcore dilemma regarding which seat to take. He sat down, and checked the date on his phone - it was Tuesday.

But no, unfortunately, Frank did not live in some sort of messed up alternate universe in which he was fourteen year old Rebecca Black, although he was just about as tall as a fourteen year old, but that was irrelevant and certainly the last thing on nineteen year old Frank Iero's mind as he rolled out of bed at something like three pm and accidentally hit himself in the face with his laptop in the desperate struggle to open the thing as soon as possible.

He then proceeded to blind himself, because yes everyone needs to leave their laptop on full brightness at four in the morning, which just about when Frank had passed out last night. He then found himself experiencing the serious first world problems of when minimum brightness is still too bright, and he found himself lying there with at least four chins and the worst eye bags known to man as he groaned and regretted ever being born.

Oh, the life of a college student.

Frank found himself gravitating to his tumblr and doing some quality shitposting to help start his day, ensuring he reblogged at least four pictures of dogs, because aesthetic, before switching to Facebook, and preparing himself for the shit storm of why aren't you awake messages from all two of his friends: Jamia and Bert, although Jamia was his girlfriend as well, so she didn't exactly count, so in reality, the figure was something closer to one point five friends, but Frank had woken up about one point five minutes ago and despite it being three pm, it was still too fucking early for this shit.

He typed out a quick 'hey' to Jamia, before closing the chat window and liking the few Facebook statuses from his friends and some tolerable acquaintances that he felt obliged to like in order to show support for the friendship, and not because he actually gave a shit about what his best friend had come to realise in an incredibly hilarious and totally not copied from reddit way at one in the morning after he'd drunk his body weight in orange juice - Bert was kind of weird, okay?

But then again, so was Frank, Frank was so weird he'd make the 2009 random trend supporters proud, not that was really something to be particularly proud of, but Frank was a psychology student who got more D in his assignments than he did in his sex life, which might be something to do with the fact that he was dating someone with a vagina, but he was bisexual, which was his apparent 'character quirk' according to the slightly less tolerable acquaintances, like seriously, that shit made him want to punch himself in the face.

There was once this guy called Bob Bryar who'd asked if he could have a threesome with Frank and Jamia, Frank had told him to go fuck himself because no one else wants to, and it wasn't even like he was lying - Bob has no friends, no one fucking likes Bob.

There was also the fact that he was a boy who had a vagina, but no one besides Bert and Jamia knew about that, like seriously, his genitals were no one's fucking business. He told Bert once at four in the morning when he was having a minor emotional breakdown, whereas Jamia, let's say she found out first hand.

About a month into Frank and Jamia's relationship, she'd taken off his boxers, and just stared for a moment, before asking him where his dick was, and if he'd lost it and needed help finding it, (they were quite drunk, okay?) to which Frank had responded - 'I don't know, it just never grew.'. Bert had been the one to explain it properly the next morning, because Frank was fucking useless at many things, and explanations was one of them.

Frank then proceeded to go deaf as Jamia responded to his message, and he'd also decided to leave his volume on full, which made absolutely no sense, but whatever, he turned his volume down, and he made some sort of effort to respond to his girlfriend.