Cake man Preg {DISCONTINUED}

Chapter four~lego

Calum's PoV
" do you think Luke's okay?" Michael asked me, for the hundredth time that night, I wish that I could answer him but I desperately wanted to know the answer myself. It wasn't fair, I needed to know.

I thought that things were starting to get better but I had been proved wrong,yet again.

Today, at the park, he was so happy, playing on the swings and other pieces of playground equipment with us. He smiled to, a proper smile instead of the one he faked to make people think he was alright. But by now, I knew well enough to know whether his smile was real or not and today he smiled, properly, for the first time in ages. I loved seeing him smile and watching his features light up in glee. I loved being the one who made him smile more than anything in the world but lately, I had been the cause of all his pain.

I couldn't help but think it was my fault he was in there, crying his eyes out.

As soon as we arrived home, he had ran in and slammed the door shut, like he did every night. No matter how hard I begged, he rarely let anyone in or came out. He could stay there for hours at a time just ignoring the world. But in all those hours he stayed cramped in there, never did I leave him, just in case he did need me.

" if I knew that, do you think I would still be fucking standing here" I snapped, glaring at Michael. His constantly asking the same question was pissing me off. Why would I know? Luke never told me anything these days.

Just that very thought caused me to burst out into a fit of crying. I just wish he would let me in.

I tried to hide my face behind my hands but Ashton immediately caught onto my expression and pulled me into his arms, holding me as I sobbed loudly. I couldn't help it. I had screwed up so much. I had completely ruined the relationship me and Luke had .

I missed being able to hold him tight, to be able to clasp his hand as we skipped through the streets.

I missed being able to kiss him whenever I felt like it.

I missed him being the last thing I saw before I fell asleep and the first thing I saw when I woke up in a morning.

I missed all the sweet gestures he did to show me how much I meant to him.

I missed all the texts with whole paragraphs of kisses on them.

I missed all the little notes he left for me when he was out.

I missed him sitting between the my legs and resting his back against my chest on movie nights.

I missed him , I missed us.

The worst part was, i had no idea what to do to make things right.

I had no idea how to stop him hurting.

I had no idea how to fix him again.

I had no idea how to make him mine again.

I had no idea about anything and it killed me inside.

" Calum, shh, it's okay" Ashton soothed as I cried helplessly on him while he rubbed comforting circles into my back. His hands were smooth but they weren't Luke's.

I sniffled and blinked to stop the tears from falling. Once I was content I was finished sobbing, I slowly pulled away from Ashton, shooting him a grin for being so nice. I wiped under my eyes with my sleeve to catch any stray tears, not caring that this was my favourite hoodie.

" it's not though, it's not okay" I sniffled pathetically. It wasn't okay, that much I knew.

Michaels eyes saddened as he mind processed my words and realised the truth in them.