Sehun-Angst

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I didn't know it would be so difficult to live without him.
I didn't know it would be so difficult to not think of him at all.
I didn't know it would be so difficult for me to accept that...

He was gone...Sehun...was gone...forever.

I could vividly remembered that day he left me. Saying those last words,"Please forget me but remember that I would always love you."

With that, his eyes closed, heart beat stopped and there was completely no more movement from him.

Why? Why must it be him? I remember myself being so breathless at that moment, trying so hard to get a grip of myself but to no avail.

All I could do was to shout his name countless times...which would, in the end, be no use still.

It will just myself more. It will just hurt the people who loved and cared for him more. It would hurt him seeing us grieve like this because of him too.

But, I just couldn't help it. I just couldn't accept the fact that I would be living without him from then on. Even though years have passed, he was still in my heart and maybe, just maybe, I should stop trying so hard to pretend that I am alright...because all these years, I am not alright but others do not know that, seeing be 'being so strong'.

~~~><~~~

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