5 - Tony

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Natasha finally gave up and rolled out of her bed at around two in the morning. She was shaking and was tired of trying to sleep. The nightmares had gotten the better of her tonight. She was in fact on the edge of having a panic attack.

Panic attacks were most definitely not unusual for Natasha, however she was normally able to hide the episodes from the rest of her team.

Natasha walked through the the towers corridors, making her way to the alcohol bar. She needed a drink to help her with this one sided battle against the voices in her head. As she entered the bar she quickly made her way to the bottles of liquid and poured herself a drink of clear alcohol. She managed to take a large gulp before she even noticed that there was someone else in the room.

As Natasha noticed the extra shadow in the room she instantly began mentally kicking herself. Although she had managed to hide the tears, she was in a vulnerable position, turning up to the bar at two in the morning. However on that thought, Natasha suddenly realised, who else was here at two in the morning and why?

Natasha walked across the room and instantly pulled a brave face when she noticed it was Tony sat a few meters from her. The billionaire seemed to be in a world of his own, not even noticing Natasha was there.

"Tony?" Natasha questioned quietly.

He looked up and gazed at Natasha before pulling out the chair next to him, offering her a seat. Natasha took the offer and sat down. She watched Tony for a few seconds, waiting for him to speak. He was different to the other members of the team, he was more open.

"Since the wormhole in New York, I developed a form of post traumatic stress disorder", he began.

Natasha inhaled sharply, she didn't know Tony suffered, she thought that she was the only one. Natasha had suffered for post traumatic stress disorder since she was first taken by Red Room when she was six years old. Sure, she hadn't had a proper attack or episode in months but it always felt like she had a shadow over her.

After a few seconds she managed to force her head up and down in a nod, signalling Tony to continue.

"It used to be pretty bad, but I improved. However since Pepper left last year it's gotten harder, I haven't had a actual attack in over a year but when I get close, I come here and have a few drinks. It helps." Tony explained to Natasha softly.

Natasha wasn't sure what to say. She just looked at Tony with pure sympathy. For years Natasha has kept her own demons hidden while trying to help her team and it turns out that Tony was suffering with almost the same thing at her. Obviously, due to Tony's description Natasha had leant that Tony's PTSD had improved, but that was besides the point.

Natasha was still shaking from her own episode and remained on the edge of a panic attack. For the first time in forever she didn't know how to help the person in front of her. She just sat, frozen, looking at Tony as her mind spun in circles. She was loosing control, she had never had any kind of attack or break down in front of the teams members before.

"Tasha? Are you okay?" Tony asked.

Natasha panicked, she couldn't answer as her voice was horse in her throat so instead she just wrapped her arms around him. Natasha was practically sat on Tony's lap with her head buried in his neck. Tony slowly closed his arms around the spy in return, he was in slight shock at her sudden action.

Natasha was breathing deeply, trying to stop herself from falling in to the endless pit of panic. It took her a good two minutes to be sure that she wasn't going to crumble before she let go of Tony and returned to her seat.

"Sorry", she mumbled quietly.

Tony shook his head.
"No, I needed that, it helped. Thank you Nat", he replied.

Natasha looked up at Tony and saw worry in his eyes. However he wasn't worrying about his own problems, he was worried about Natasha. It was clear to the spy that Tony had obviously noticed her distressed state but elected to put it to one side for the moment. Tony knew Natasha was a reserved person. She didn't open up easily.

"You sure your okay Natasha?"

Natasha forced herself to nod. She hated lying to her team, to Tony, but it was the only way she felt safe, at least for now.

"Have a drink with me before you go back to bed?" Tony asked, although it wasn't really a question.

Natasha nodded once again and thanked him quietly as he passed her a glass of liquid. As Natasha too, her first sip she relaxed slightly. She looked at Tony once again and replied that him being there did make a difference, she just wasn't ready to admit that yet.

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I understand that this chapter was more -Tony helps Natasha- than -Natasha helps Tony- but it felt necessary to lead into the next chapter. Hope you still enjoyed it.

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