Mama Tiger

Chapter 25.

Dear readers, sorry for the delay in updating. I forgot my password.

Chapter 25.

"Ugh," Stef groaned. "I do not feel like dealing with this today." She rolled over, pulling her pillow over her head to block out the bright sunlight.

"You can always back out," Lena reminded her, reaching out to tenderly rub her back. "Stay in bed, get some rest?"

Stef heaved a weak sigh. "I know I could... but the girls are looking so forward to this. Especially Mariana. I don't want to disappoint them." Her daughters had been excited about attending the workshop with her, seeing her get a makeover, having fun together for the first time in a long time.

Lena gave her wife a disapproving look. "Honey, if you're truly not feeling well, they will understand. You need to put yourself first sometimes. I know that's hard for you, though."

Forcing herself to sit up, Stef stretched, giving herself a small burst of energy. "No, I have to go." She yawned tiredly. "I don't really feel sick. I actually feel pretty good. Just... I don't know... nervous?"

"Nervous?" Lena asked with concern. "Can you tell me why?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "What if they make me look weird? I don't feel comfortable in a ton of make-up and stuff. I don't feel like me."

"I'm sure they won't do anything to make you uncomfortable," her wife offered. "The point of it is to help you feel good about yourself again. And that's something I think you need. Just remember," she added. "Makeup washes off."

"Okay," Stef finally nodded. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?"

"Right," Lena smiled, leaning in to kiss her.

Stef got dressed slowly, taking her time to put on her bra and prosthesis; her scar had smoothed out and become paler. Sometimes, she found herself studying it in the mirror, often still mourning what she lost, but just the same, accepting the scar as just another part of her body. She chose her most comfortable plaid shirt and her favorite jeans, dressing quickly, then pulling on her socks. As an afterthought, she added her Padres cap for luck. When she wore it, it made her feel closer to her father, and in turn, made her feel better.

She went downstairs, under Lena's watchful eye, and went to the kitchen. "Hello, my lovelies," she said, smiling at three out of five of her kids. Jesus and Jude were likely to sleep until noon any given Summer day.

"Hey, mom," the kids answered, looking up.

"How are you feeling?" Brandon asked, standing up to give her a kiss.

"Fine," she said, wrapping her sweet boy in a hug and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "Just fine."

"Really fine, or are you just saying that?"

"Really  fine," she promised him. "Better than I've felt in days."

She sat down at the table, and Callie turned to her. "Can I get you some breakfast?"

Stef looked at the spread of pancakes and bacon on the table, and her stomach turned, just a little. "That would be great, honey. I'd love some toast with a little butter and some yogurt, please." Her stomach was shot from throwing up so much, and she didn't want to spoil the day by eating anything too heavy. She watched her daughter pop some toast in the toaster as she poured herself a glass of milk. "Thank you, love," she said, as Callie set a plate in front of her.

"You're welcome," she nodded.

"You excited about the workshop?" Stef asked her, wrapping her arm around her waist and hugging her to her side.

"Yes," she nodded. "I still think hospitals are creepy, though."

"It'll be cool," Mariana put in. "It won't be like really being in a hospital."

"That's right," Stef agreed. "It'll be in the hospital conference room. Nothing scary." She watched Callie let out a small sigh of relief, satisfied.

After they ate and washed up, Lena drove them to the hospital. "Have fun, ladies," she said, pulling up at the entrance. "I love you."

"Love you too," said Stef, the girls echoing her. She stood between them, and together, they walked through the hospital doors.

Later:

Lena looked at Stef with tears in her eyes. "Oh, honey," she sniffled. "You look beautiful." She reached out to gather her in her arms.

Stef hugged her wife back. She was wearing a blond wig, the closest match to her natural hair that the cosmetologist had, and it was given to her at no cost. She'd also learned to care for skin through her illness, and how to apply the makeup in her take-home kit. Mariana had been so cute during the demonstration, watching carefully how the cosmetologist meticulously applied everything, so she could copy it at home. Callie, who wasn't too into makeup, watched too, but not with the intensity of her sister. Stef was more in agreement with Callie; she couldn't see herself wearing so much makeup every day, but she had to admit that she did feel more confident stepping out of the hospital than she had going in.

She smiled as her wife reached out to touch the tresses of golden hair that touched her shoulder. "Is it comfortable?"

"It is," Stef nodded. It was lined with material that wouldn't irritate her bald head, like traditional wigs designed for women with hair. Even so, it was hot. She didn't think she could wear it throughout the Summer. Maybe just when she went out? "Thanks for finding out about this for me," she told her wife.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Lena sighed, taking her back in her arms and kissing her. "It's good to see you so happy."

Mariana had been so quiet on the way home, not at all like her usually chatty girl. Concerned, Stef found her daughter in her room, staring blankly at the pages of a book. "Honey?"

She didn't answer, so Stef playfully waved her hand in front of her face. "Earth to Mariana."

Her daughter snapped out of her trance, and Stef noticed that her eyes were wet. "What's wrong, baby?" She sat down on the edge of the bed and took Mariana's hand. "Tell me?"

Mariana sat up. "It was kind of scary, seeing all those women. Some of them didn't even have eyebrows or eyelashes."

Stef nodded knowingly. She had been blessed in that she hadn't lost her brows and lashes like she had lost her hair.

"Some of them looked so sick. Sicker than you," her daughter fretted. "Some of them might die." A tear slipped down her cheek. "It makes me sad."

"Honey," Stef breathed. "I know. It's very sad, and frightening. Illness can be scary. But those ladies are still women, just like me and mama. and if nothing else, seeing them made me feel very grateful for how luck we've been."

"I guess so," she sniffled. She let out an angry sigh. "Why can't they just find a cure so no one has to go through this anymore?"

"It isn't that easy," Stef told her. "They're working on it, but it's expensive to research and it takes time." She smiled, touching her daughter's wet cheek. "You're so good in science and math. Who knows? Maybe you'll be the one to find the cure someday."

"I doubt it," Mariana scoffed. "I'm not that smart."

"I think you're smart enough to do anything you put your mind to," Stef told her honestly, snuggling beside her. "Did you ever wonder if there's a reason for what we're going through?" She pressed a kiss to the top of her daughter's head, burying her nose in her hair. "You, my love, are going to do great things one day."