Hello Summer

Sunflower Kid by @biscuit_dunker

Holding the sunflower by the stem between his thumb and forefinger, he plucked the petals off one by one, "she loves me, she loves me not," Tyler repeated over and over again to himself. He knew it was stupid, of course she loved him. She'd agreed to marry him.

In a less than an hour they would stand on the altar where he was now sitting and declare their love for one another in front of everyone.

He loved her, he was sure of that. He'd always loved her; right from the very first moment he'd seen her. He'd loved her before he'd even met her, she had been his first love and he was fairly certain that she would be his last. Tyler could never imagine loving someone else as much as he loved Katy; thought it impossible for there to be someone else out there who could make him feel the things she made him feel.

But there was always that doubt in the back of his mind that he wasn't good enough for her; the evidence of his self doubt lay at his feet, yellow petals discarded on the sand from where he had massacred one flower after another, victims of his overactive mind and low self esteem.

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of his life, he was going to marry the girl that he loved. Still, he thought about running away and abandoning Katy at the altar, but he couldn't do that, she hadn't abandoned him. Not even when everyone else had, his parents had all but washed their hands of him; his father's heart attack weighed heavy on his conscience. Then Jack and the others had threatened to kick him out of the band. His band. The band that he had started.

Everyone, people that knew them and even those that didn't, had told Katy that she was better off away from Tyler, they said that she should get as far away from him as possible, that he would only drag her down with him.

"Can't you see what you're doing? You're tearing this family apart!" Ray, his father had screamed at him, before Tyler had stormed out of the house, without so much as a second glance.

Determined to escape reality he had checked himself into a Travelodge and lost a few days; when he finally recovered from his previous comatose state his phone had been full of unanswered calls and unread messages. Worried voices had filled his head desperately seeking his whereabouts and informing him that his dad had been rushed to the University Hospital in Cardiff.

His father was right, Tyler had torn the family apart, it was fractured beyond repair. It was only Katy and her fingerprints, like stitches they had put everything back together again. One night when they had lay in bed together, "it doesn't have to be this way you know? You can get better if you want to," she'd said as she traced the marks on his arms with the soft tips of her fingers.

And in that moment when he'd looked into her eyes, he realised that he did want to; he wanted to get better. Tyler wanted to be able to lay there with her all night not itching for his next fix knowing that if he didn't he would wake up in a pool of his own sweat, Katy not by his side, but in some far off corner of the house with tear stained cheeks phone pressed to her ear as she called in sick to work again. Knowing that no matter how much she hated what he was doing, she understood that he was a slave to the habit he'd picked up on the road. She would still drive him to his dealer just so she didn't have to see him doubled over in pain with the awful stomach cramps that came with being denied the thing he craved the most. She would then sit with him for hours, like a night watchman or woman; never leaving his side making sure that he didn't choke on his own vomit.

Tyler hated himself for what he'd done to Katy she'd moved halfway across the world to be with him this wasn't how things were supposed to be, they were meant to be young and carefree. But then things with the band took off and that was what Tyler had wanted he'd spent years waiting, hoping and wishing for the day they would get to play for more than two hundred people, but it had been sudden and unexpected, he left Katy behind and he wasn't prepared for the lonely, nomadic way of life being on tour and endless hotel rooms had to offer.

He'd been stupid to think that he would be able to try it once and that would be it; the feeling of serenity he'd felt the first time the illegal substance had hitchhiked its way through his bloodstream was enough to make him want more. It was like being enveloped in a big hug and that was just what he needed when he was missing home and missing Katy.

Finding Katy sat in the summerhouse one cold November morning that was when Tyler realised that he needed to get better, not just for himself but for Katy as well. "When I come home will you marry me?" he'd asked her as he sat in the backseat of the chauffeur driven car on his way to the airport ready to be taken to a rehab facility on a small remote island far away from his debauched life in London.

"Of course I will," she'd said kissing him.

There were times when he thought that he'd never go home; days when throwing himself over the side of the cliff were more appealing than living and then they decided that he could go home for the first time in a very long time he was drug free. Katy had been there to meet him at the airport, she'd been there every day since.

Tyler knew that Katy deserved better, but he was too selfish to let her go so he was marrying her instead today on this small private beach that she loved so much. "Hey Ty there you are mate," it was Katy's dad, the sound of his voice pulling Tyler from his thoughts, "it's almost time you ready yeah?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, trying to raise a small smile.

"Come on then son, go get yourself ready?"

Even while he stood at the altar waiting for his bride Tyler couldn't shake the feeling that Katy wouldn't turn up to try and distract himself, he studied his tattooed arms the stories they told and the stories they concealed. There were many stories that Tyler would've liked to remain hidden forever but the media and fame didn't work that way. The same journalists that had vilified him when he was at his lowest and published photos of him when he was in the gutter; wanted to print photos of his wedding, as if he would let that happen.

Today was their day, Katy's and his.

Finally tearing his eyes away from his arms, he looked up and saw her dressed in a long white floaty gown, her blonde hair in curls flowing freely and a bunch of sunflowers in her hand that would've been the things the media would've written about. Tyler suspected the moron that worked for the Sun would have said there was nothing fancy about this wedding, except for maybe the location, but he didn't care this was what they wanted this was all they needed.

What no one would have written about, was the way the dress didn't quite sit right on her abdomen, it was something you wouldn't even notice if you didn't know and no one did, it was their secret.

"You look so beautiful," he said when she stood in front of him before kissing her. "Let's get this rolling," Tyler was desperate to get this wedding started and make Katy his wife.

"Like a fucking stone," she said, this time it was Katy's turn to kiss Tyler.