Broken ~ A Jonnor Fanfiction

Chapter 5

As I walk into school I hold my head up high, I'm wearing my nicest casual clothes and my hair is neatly combed, I feel great. However, I know it won't last. My doctor called me back a few days ago to announce I don't have depression, I have bipolar depression. It isn't as serious as they thought, but they still need to treat me for it. In the moment I enter school I have no fear of anyone, not even Connor. But then I see all these people and the anxiety instantly comes back.

BANG. That's the sound of me getting shoved into a locker and almost getting the wind knocked out of me. I'm sitting on the ground scared to look up. It's class time so nobody will be out here to help me.

"Dressed like a fag," one of them shouts.

"Do you cut your wrists because your life is so hard?" the other says but you can tell he thinks he is hilarious. And yes, my life is pretty rough, but for the cutting, that's something I've never thought of until he mentioned it.

They shove me and punch me one last time and with that they are gone. I lay there almost drowning in my own tears. I'm laying almost outside my classroom, the class I have with Connor, the class I was going to strut into and not give a shit what anyone thinks.

After about five minutes someone opens the door of my class. Connor. He walks to the water fountain next to the door, then he is about to go back in but he looks back, he's always been able to sense when there is something behind him, that's what he told me once.

"Jude! Good god what happened to you?" He shouts and kneels down by me.

"Peytons gang, they came and, and, they said I'm dressed like a fag and something about me cutting and then they punched me." I cry.

He pulls up my shirt sleeves, he's checking if I did cut, I didn't.

"You look great, they are so full of shit. I'm gonna kill them." He sounds so scary. He stares at me and I stare back, we are gazing into each others eyes. "Jude, go to the health room." Then he walks away, I am so unbelievably confused about us. For about two minutes it felt like everything was okay and happy again, but then he left me like that once more.

In my next class we have a new student named Jacob. He instantly talks to me and makes jokes, we spend the rest of the day together and he even comes over after school a few days later.

One month later

It's been a month since I was pushed into the lockers, I still continue to get hassled but nothing so serious has happened ever since. Connor decided to ignore me some more since the incident, now he spends nearly every day with Daria. Jacob and me are best friends, maybe more, we are both confused about our sexualities. One time during the movie Jacob held my hand. We decided to meet up at the park today.

Jacob: sitting here waiting for a cutie to show up... i think i see connor tho playing baseball with that guy james.

My heart drops, I can't go to the park with Connor there. But Jacob cares so much about me, so much more then Connor, so I go, not to let Jacob down. I arrive with my picnic, feeling a little silly.

We find a spot not to close to Connor and James but eventually they see us. We sit and eat together laughing and talking.

"Dude, isn't that Jude and his like boyfriend or something?" I faintly hear James say.

"What do you mean boyfriend?" Connor quickly snaps back at him.

"They spend like every free second of their lives together man, and I'm pretty sure they ain't straight."

Jacob looks and me and smiles, then he leans in, he's about to kiss me. No. I jump up and I walk away. I can't kiss him.

"Jude no I'm sorry!" Jacob whines. Almost kissing him made me realize that I am so not over Connor. Connor and his adorable smile and his bad jokes and his encouraging voice. I sit down on a bench and sob. Why did I have to fall in love with someone who is straight. I wish I could love Jacob, but it isn't the same. It isn't Connor.

"Jude," a boy completely out of breath sits next to me. "Jude I've been chasing you." It's Connor, not Jacob, even though it would've made more sense if it was Jacob.

"Oh are you hear to lead me on and then not talk to me for another month?"

"No, actually I just wanted you to know I broke up with Daria. I missed you so I did what I had to."

"Connor. I don't think I can do this. I'm done getting my heart torn to pieces. Here's the deal, I am in love with you. You aren't in love with me. Us being friends just won't work out, I need some space and time to get over you, I thought I did, but when he almost kissed me, I realized I wasn't. I'm sorry I ever walked into your life, but I'll leave you alone now. I hope you get a girlfriend that gives you everything you deserve."

Then I walk away, this time, I will get over Connor.

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Sorry this was a bit of a filler! Comment if you want anything specific to happen!