If I Only Knew Why

Innocent child

My mom found my money that he gave me. She asked if I stole them I said no that he told me I can have them. She took them away and told him if that was true and he said yeah that he likes giving the girls money. She looked at him and said okay but told me she was gonna put it in my piggy bank, and I told her I wanted to do it, and I did.
Why does mom keep leaving me here... I told her I won't ask for anything I know better. But she still doesn't take me with her the time I go is to be with mom's best friend . I am starting to feel sick of myself just like the girls on TV. I stopped eating so much, mom tells me because I just want junk food but that's not it I'm just sad. I feel alone, scared , and happy . Happy why? Well because he is the only one who puts attention to me .
  It's become a routine with him. And I don't like what he is doing , and I feel ashamed that I can't do anything.
  I am a bad child , I feel disgusted I just turn 13 . I'm starting to understand ...
   Me and my cousins played hide and seek ,I'm really good at that game too. So I hid in my room which he slept. But he wasn't there so it was fine I didn't have to worry now I'm playing with my cousins. If I'm with someone or have someone around he won't be able to go do that.
    I was wrong , I still had to worry of him. Because when I hid and he knew where I was. He goes in my closet and starts doing it again. He stops because someone came in the room. And it was his wife that came from Mexico. He touched her like he touched me. Held her like he does when mom left me here alone in front of me, he kept looking at me . I got a chance to get away so I did.
   Why ? Who is him ? You wonder who is she talking about him who does he refer to? I'll tell you I think it seems right to say. My uncle, my mom's brother.
And I think it's time to tell my best friend.  I can't do it anymore keep this horrid secret. I shouldn't have let him do this to me. You could've spoken . Could've stood up for yourself you may think or even say.
There's something more I had told my mom that uncle had touched me on my private parts . You know what she said to me ? He didn't mean it probably you got in his way ... So I just kept my mouth shut .