Marked

13|What He Sees|13

Alois. It had to be Alois.

It had to be the vengeful, grudge-holding, con known as Alois Trancy. Three weeks of being ignored and toyed with by my best friend had me on edge. It had me so on edge that I had restored to desperate measures, as desperate times had certainly called for them.

"Hey, you," I coed, then inwardly gagged. I hated flirting. Always have, always will. I should have known that this was a terrible idea. Before I could declare mission failure and abort, Claude's voice cut through the air like a cool knife.

"Ciel?" he asked, even though he could clearly see me. I had consumed his entire field of vision when I sat down on his desk as the bell rang.

"Yours truly, so what are you doing tonight?"

"Getting away from you," he said, picking up his books and swiveling around me.

"Claude, wait! Why don't we go out? I miss seeing you around all the time!" I followed close behind him.

"No you don't Ciel."

"Sure I do, I really do," I had finally caught him at the end of the hallway by launching myself onto his forearm. He turned on his heel and near slammed me into a locker. He spoke through closed eyes and gritted teeth.

"Listen, I know this game. I learned plenty from Alois while we were together. You're just doing this to get back at me." He had pushed me into lockers by now.

"Why would I-"

"Go run back to Michaelis, Alois. All you are is a little slut. You don't care about me. You never have!"

"Claude!"

"What?!" His eyes shot open in realization. Then confusion. Then embarrassment.

"Take that back." I pushed myself back against his arm, trying my best to make myself seem larger.

"No, I'm sorry. That wasn't about you-"

"No, take back what you said about Alois. He may be promiscuous but he is not a slut. But above all else, he cared about you, Claude. He loved you a whole hell of a lot. It would do you right to know that he still does." He released his grip on me.

"No. No he doesn't. I pushed him away. I pushed away my diamond for a damn rock," Claude said more to himself than to me. "Listen, Ciel. If you are having issues with Alois right now, I suggest you sort them out with him, not me. Maybe I will do the same..."

...

"Hey, it's Alois! Sorry I couldn't make it to the phone, I'm most likely with my adorable boyfriend Sebby, isn't that right Sebastian?" I heard a Michaelis sounding grunt. "Anyways, leave a message and we'll get back to you later!"

One of the many changes Alois had made to his daily life specifically to draw my attention to his apparently "blossoming" relationship.

"Hey, it's me... again. Listen, I'm sorry, you know that. But I have good news you'll want to hear. Call me." I hung up and waited. One hour. Two hours. Three. It was 11 on a Friday night. I couldn't stand the waiting anymore.

...

Knock. Fidget. Hyperventilate. Repeat.

Finally someone opened the door. Sebastian, looking sleepy and unkempt. This could mean one of two things, I had woken him up or I had temporarily distracted him and Alois from their little game of cat and mouse. My heart wrenched.

I hadn't seen Sebastian up close since our outing a little over a month ago. His face was still a pale beauty, but it looked perpetually tired, as if he had taken a night job and was jet lagging. His hair had gotten longer and more mangled. His lips were chapped and chewed. But above all, he was still the same frighteningly beautiful Sebastian, just with the volume turned up. And I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing those scarring eyes.

He looked surprised at first, then he must have realized how much he hated me, and regained his stoic state.

"What do you want?"

"Were you asleep?"

"Yes, why?" Some of my adrenaline left my body.

"Um, I just figured that you'd be at a party of something."

"You're looking for Alois." Was that the reason I was here? I had lost my track of mind in his eyes.

"Um, is he?"

"No," my face must have told him I was unsure because he then opened the door a slight bit wider, "Would you like to come check?" He snapped. I wasn't sure why, but I walked right through Sebastian's front door and into his home. I must have left my sanity in my car. Or at home. Or a month ago when Sebastian was just another man whore with no depth to him. Again, he looked surprised.

I looked around at the inside of his studio apartment and wondered why he lived alone in high school. The first thing I noticed were the mass amounts of book shelves.

"Well, I guess I'll get you a glass of water if your staying a while." Sebastian said, turning to the kitchen. On the coffee table was his most recent read, The Catcher in the Rye. I picked it up and scanned the pages. Anecdotes. They were everywhere, all pointing to Holden's youth concept. A pen was stuff about halfway through the book, I opened to that page. One anecdote, written in the boldest lettering yet.

'Is this what you see, Ciel? I am so much more than that. I wish I could show you...'

"Sebastian?" he turned to face me, and his eyes grew wider than ever. He dropped the glass of water onto the tile floor. Faster than I could see, he swept into the living room and swiped the book from me. Scanning the page, his face slowly drained of color. There was silence.

"Sebastian, you know I don't see you as some sort of monster, right?"

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop saying my name!" He was clutching the book so hard, his knuckles were starting to turn white.

"Why?"

"I can't handle it. I don't deserve it." I didn't know what he meant.

"Listen, Se- Listen, I'm not frightened by you. Okay well maybe I am, but not in the way you think. I'll admit, you've disgusted me before quite a few times. And I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that you didn't confuse the hell out of me, but as for being scared. The only thing that scares me, Sebastian," I saw his tense as I took the book out of his hands and replaced the empty space with my own, "are my feelings for you."

My hands grabbed onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him hard to my mouth.