You've got Heart, Kid (Dean x Reader)

I Will Return

A/N - This part is inspired by the song "I Will Return" by Skylar Grey. If the link to the lyric video doesn't work then I do encourage you to look up the song first. Again, please give me your feedback. It is really appreciated. Carry on!

*Dean's P.O.V.*

Me and Sammy drive out of the hotel room. Its all my fault, I know that. I shot Sammy, I let her leave without me, and now ... she's going to die in about 3 minutes and she doesn't want me to do anything? Bullshit!
I slam on the brakes and flip a quick U-turn and floor it. I can make it ... I know I can ... come on Baby. We speed down the road as fast as she can go. When we finally get to the hotel ... we are too late. As we start to go up the stairs to her room, we hear the hellhound leave, meaning only one thing ... her job is done. My heart sinks down to my stomach and I vomit slightly in my mouth, turn around, push Sam out of the way, and head back to the car. Its MY fault she's dead ... ALL MINE! Shit!

We drive all the way to the bunker without a word. I'm reluctant to go inside because wherever I go ... she will be there. If I go in the kitchen, I will see her cooking or I will see her at the table where she took her first sip of beer and spit it out all over me. If I go in the viewing room, I will see her sitting next to me and Sammy watching a movie or I will see her trying to hide her tears because she was embarrassed to admit she was crying over a fictional death in her favorite TV show. If I go in her room, I will see Sammy comforting her after a nightmare or I will see her laying in bed on her laptop, listening to her favorite music ... my music. Damn she had great taste! HAD .... that word hurts. HAD ... as in, she is no more. She WAS, not IS anymore. And its my fault. I need a drink.

I decide to go to the kitchen for a beer. I can hear Sammy trying to get my attention but everything is a blur. Not the kind of blur you have after you've had a few too many but the kind you have when you feel nothing else matters. I grab a beer out of the fridge and slam the door. Sam gives up on trying to get to me and goes God-knows-where. I really don't feel like talking about it and he knows it. I decide to go to her room. Its a mistake, I know that as start walking towards her door.
I don't know what to expect. But I find is exactly the last thing I would expect ... On her bed are her two favorite stuffed animals with two discs sitting infront of them. Both have sticky notes on their heads. The black bear is labeled 'Dean' and the German Shephard is labeled 'Sammy'. Just that, made tears well up in my eyes. That's when I turned toward her desk and saw what she had been working on off and on for the past three months.

"Sammy! Get in here quick!"

I hear his footsteps pounding down the hall and as he turns into Y/N's room I can hear his breath hitch in his throat.

On her desk, there is her CD player. It was the last birthday present she recieved from her parents. There is a post it on it that says 'Play this first'. I look back at Sam. He has tears falling down his face, too. She also has her laptop open, it says '2nd'. I go over to the CD player and sit in her office chair. I realize that the whole room smells like her. I never really noticed that she had a distinct smell that was so clearly Y/N. Its a soft floral, sweet smell but slightly something else. I can't quite put my finger on it. I realize that it reminds me of my favorite old leather jacket.

I finally work up the nerve to hit 'Play' and I immediately recognize the song and it hits me like a ton of bricks in my stomach. She died not knowing that Sammy and I both knew that she could sing and play the piano. We would both sit just outside the bunker, in the garage, and just listen to her play and sing her heart out when she thought we weren't back from the hunt yet. I realize how much this song ment to her. She was always praying that we would come back. I flashback to the time I literally caught her praying to Cas when she hadn't heard from us in a few days. Then, I went in and acted like I hadn't heard her. When Cas showed up a couple seconds later, she acted like she hadn't said anything. He was confused then, but he told me that she had talked to him about it later.

All the laughs and stupid fights,
You and I,
We rolled like thunder in the sky.

Me and Sammy are just staring at each other listening to the song.

I will return.
Don't you ever hang your head.

All this time, she wasn't worried or scared about her life ending ... she was worried about what would become of us after she was gone.

I will return,
In every song, at each sunset.

It was so like her ... way TOO caring.

Our memory is always within reach.
I will return.
~
I'm never gone for long.

After the song is over, I take a long, yet shaky, breath and look down at her laptop. I press 'Play' on that too. I stand up and start pacing when I see her face pop up on the screen.

"Hey guys.", she says from the screen. She waves at the camera. It doesn't take me long to notice that she is in her favorite outfit, and that she looks the exact same as she did a few hours ago. She just filmed this this morning.

"I couldn't get this video to come out right. I have tried to make one every day for the past three months and I feel like this is the one that you guys will see. I'm trying not to cry here so ... bear with me. I don't want to make this too long or sappy. No chick flick moments right? Hehe. Uh ... well. Lets get to it. If you are seeing this, it means that I'm gone. Now please ... pleeeaase don't cry. Ok ... great ... now I'm crying ... that didn't take long ... whew ok. I just want you to know that I miss you guys so much! I have never loved two people who weren't my inherited family more than I have loved you two. You took me in "no questions asked" and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to let you guys know that ... that this isn't your fault. You guys can't blame yourselves for bringing me into this life. I chose to be with you guys. You didn't force this on me or not give me a choice, I just chose you guys. You really can't think like that ... either of you ..."

It hurt so bad to see her. But at the same time it felt really good.

"I loved being in your family, I loved the adventure, I loved coming home to a nice, safe place after a hunt and being able to take a shower and go to bed. I loved having you guys teaching me about anything and everything, even though this one sounds weird, I loved it when you guys came home and I got to clean you up and stitch you up. Of course, it sucked to see you guys in pain, but it felt nice to be needed. And you guys have no idea how much that meant to me. Ok. So I have things to say to each of you privately, hence the discs with your names on them. You can watch them now ... or whenever. Just promise me one thing before I go ... don't do anything stupid to try and get me back. Ok? Oh! One more thing. I will be back. So don't cry or anything because you WILL see me again. I don't intend to give up once I'm down there and it will take all they've got to keep me down there so ... I will return. Bye boys. I love you"

That was the end of the video.