Panic.

Ride.

It was warm. Warmer than I expected. I mean, Las Vegas is usually hot but this was an exception to the word. The radio was playing, a soft breeze flowing through my hair. 'True or false that may be she's still or to get me'. His singing made me smile. He was so graceful, the way his shades perched on the bridge of his nose, how his soft brown hair threatened to hang in his eyes, how every single note he sung left his mouth with such precision that I was in awe to watch. All these finer details fitted so perfectly into place in this confusion that was my life. I precariously watched him drive, a smile brighter than life itself thrown across his face. I couldn't quite yet grasp the fact that I was driving along with Brendon Urie yet somehow this did not nerve me anymore. In had no idea in the world where we were going, but I didn't care. Just as long as I could stay with him.

Our drive took us to the outskirts of Vegas, the dusty, desert like planes of endless nothing. They were an abstract beauty, beauty that's easy to find but difficult to recognise. There were generic cacti around, and we were on the only road through this wasteland. It nerved me a little more, not knowing where we were going. I'd rarely ever left the comfort of commercial Vegas, and if I had it's only been for a few days, visiting people. I tried not to allow the nervous wreck my insides were show on my face. I knew everything would be okay, so why was I panicking so much? Because you're pathetic. Sadly, I agreed with the voice inside of me, taking a sick kind of comfort in being complacent with it.

'Ok, we're uh, we're here'. I'd gathered that we were, the car engine having been turned off, but nodded when Brendon announced the obvious. My legs were still a little shaky, not recognising my surroundings. Another smile crept upon his face, 'are you getting out or..?' I blushed, feeling idiotic. Of course I was getting out, it was simple, right? Just open the door, and step out of the vehicle. My body had other plans however, sticking like glue to the passenger seat. My blue vans tapped on the footwell, a nervous tendency I hated. Brendon looked across at me, the smile drooping into befuddlement. 'Are..are you actually getting out?' My lips pursed together tightly, 'yeah, I just, um. Yeah'. With his brow furrowed, he muttered something under his breath, getting out of the red convertible himself. Get out of the fucking car Skye, then you can go jump off that gorge over there. My mouth let out an exasperated sigh, unbuckling the seat belt and swinging open the door. Things literally couldn't get worse, clearly Brendon now thought I was a freak or something.

Joining him on the drivers side, we walked in unison along the pathway, a rusty orange in colour. The dust was making the white strip on the base of my shoes dirty, but my brain couldn't care less. The only thing I was thinking about was the man standing next to me, and the heat from the sun that surely would burn me to a crisp given time.

'I come here a lot, to think'. I let my gaze meet the side of Brendon's face as he spoke. 'You know, touring is a big strain, being in a band in general is I guess. Everything just exploded after fever, and it's only a year later but things aren't slowing down. I can't handle it sometimes, we've just finished an entire US tour, we go to England next month, I can't handle it a lot of the time. So I come here, to let everything escape'. It was admittedly a little weird hearing him speak like this, Brendon had always looked so easy going and happy, never once had it crossed my mind he'd be so stressed out. 'It must be difficult, you're only 19 aswell'. He nodded. 'Yup, I mean I only finished school last spring and like a few months after that we released fever, then that's when it all went crazy'. I though about it, I don't think I would've been able to handle the pressure, I only graduated back in April, and it's only June now. My mind wouldve crumbled from that kind of expectation. 'Then I'm supposed to be this saviour figure to all these kids, these kids who rely on another kid to stop them from suicide. Could you imagine, 50 teenagers coming up to you after a concert telling you about how they self harm? And you're supposed to tell each and every one it'll be okay, and things will work out, but you can't say the same to every single one of them, because then you're a sell out?' My heart dropped, listening to him pour out his soul to me, some mediocre girl that he just so happened to become aquatinted with. 'It's fucked up, nobody should go through that, but then I don't know why they rely on me to be their version of Jesus or some shit. Cause I'm barely an adult myself, I fucking drink Capri-Suns whilst the rest of the guys get drunk on Budwiser, most of the time anyway-' he took that opportunity to wink at me, my mind turning back to the concert and how we got drunk ourselves that night. '- but anyways, that's a lot of the reason I come here. To get away from those kind of things, they're toxic to think about'.

The natural silence around us fitted, we were sitting on the dusty floor, staring out at the gorge. It was more empty here than I though, with it being June it was typically one of the busiest months tourist wise, up until September. There was nobody else here though, I guess that both calmed and spiked up my nerves. On the one hand I didn't have to worry about people judging me, or staring at me or anything, but then if Brendon decided to be a mass murder who would be here to stop him pushing me into the gorge? Perhaps that would be a good thing. It was weird. How thinking for one person could be blissful yet for another a personal hell. I didn't think a lot, because it only led to my brain harbouring poison in the form of words. Clearly for Brendon it was like butterflies in a field, fluttering around and detoxing his body. I let myself linger on the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. They hadn't left since I'd first came into contact with Brendon. Swirling around sickeningly, not giving me rest. Brendon was the butterfly stitched permanently into my stomach.

I guess my nerves must've settled pretty quick, because I was laughing and joking with him after about twenty minutes of letting the somber mood soak up anything and everything in our vicinity. Brendon spoke first, but I guess he always did. 'What do you think of it here?' I thought long and hard about my answer. It was nice, I guess. I can't say anything bad about it, it's Brendon's apparent favourite place to be, so what else could I say? 'It's peaceful'. Lame. I couldn't even deny that, it was lame. He crossed his legs, holding his knees with his hands and leaning back a little. 'Yeah. Yeah, it is. I think that's why I love it so much'. I nodded, there wasn't really something I could reply with. 'I kinda want ice cream, you up for it?' I broke my stare that was fixated on the ground below us. 'Sure, I love ice cream'. He smiled, standing up and dusting off his trousers. 'Ice cream it is then'. He winked, and pulled me to my feet, and we jumped into the car, racing down the freeway.

I began that day to loose a care in the world, as long as Brendon was around nothing could really go wrong.

____________
A.N

Hey ^_^ long time no see really o-o I have such little motive writing sometimes, and that sucks but then I just randomly pluck up the desire to write and I bat out like 12,000 words in the space of three days. With that being said, there's now a bunch of chapters for this fic pre written, and I think you'll enjoy it. I've actually properly figured out a plot aswell which is a first for me, and it's going to emotionally tear you in two to read this.

But don't worry, there's still a bunch of chapters before that all happens c;

The new panic album, Death Of A Bachelor, has me in tears I stg. It's another album like fever, it's giving me the same feelings. I remember when afycso was released and I sat and listened to it, and I honestly fell in love with it and it was always my favourite album, along with Black Parade(MCR) and Cork Tree(FOB) when I was little. I'm listening to DOAB right now as I write this and really I just can't get over it, it's another album like no other and just really if you haven't listened to it yet please go do so.

That's all I've got to say I guess, other than I'm seeing ATL and Good Charlotte next month *-*

Hope you guys are all good, ty for reading and I'll update again soon <3

~Sophie