Trigger

four • swims

The first week at the cottage passes by a lot better than I had originally expected. When driving over, I didn't know how I'd manage not to get bored staying for two months, but so far I don't want to leave. I think a big part of it is Levi and Finn, really.

They're my age and actually really good people, which means I can actually interact genuinely with them. I've learned that Levi is a ridiculously good listener and that Finn is good at knowing exactly what to say in a situation. Aside from just talking, I've showed them the hiking trail I've told them about (though Levi still refused to go early morning, so we had to settle for the afternoon) and we've gone out on the boat a couple of times.

Today, things are different, though. Levi and Finn are almost always in a good mood- even if Levi has a 'tough night' and goes out to the shooting range, which has only happened one other time, but this time I had just ignored the shots and thankfully fell back to sleep. Today, however, something is different about the cousins. Usually when I come outside, they're playing volleyball behind the cottages, swimming or throwing each other off the paddle boats. As I walk out today, though, Levi is simply sitting outside on the dock, his head ducked down as he stares out into the lake while Finn is tiredly cleaning the barbeque.

I want to approach Levi, but he looks just way too deep in thought, and his posture is defeated enough to give me a clear message that he wants to be left alone. So, instead I make my way over to Finn, who is watching me with weary blue eyes before giving me a pathetic attempt at a smile. He drops it, though, when he realizes I'm not falling for it.

"Hey," I say softly, making sure Levi doesn't over hear. "I'm sorry of this isn't any of my business, but, um, is everything okay?"

Finn sighs, putting down whatever he was using to clean the barbeque and closing the lid. He gives me another weak smile before shaking his head, "Not really. It was just a really rough morning... and night."

I bite my lip, unsure how to reply to that. Thankfully, we're saved from an awkward silence when Katherine opens the front door, calling, "Levi! Come in, dear, Jeffery needs to talk to you."

Levi sits still for a second before his muscles tense and he stiffly stands up, keeping his head down as he walks over. My eyes watch him- he's holding onto his forearm again with a tight grip, his posture is stiffened. He doesn't look at me as he passes, the only time his head coming up is when he approaches Katherine and sweeps right by her into the cottage. Katherine turns to us, giving us a smile and saying, "Good morning, Kinsley."

"Good morning, Katherine."

She gives Finn a nod of her head and goes inside herself, closing the door behind her. Finn sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. Hesitantly, I ask, "Did Levi have a... tough night?"

Finn sighs, "Who told you?"

"Katherine. The first night we had came, he woke me up because he was shooting at the range. Katherine explained it's what he does to cope with... tough nights. Did he...?"

Finn smiles sadly, "Yeah. But don't worry about it, Kinsley. He'll be fine by the evening."

I bite the inside of my cheek, "Are you sure? Shouldn't we, like, keep him company and cheer him up?"

"No, we really shouldn't. Bothering Levi right now isn't a good idea, he just wants to be left alone. Trust me."

Something about Finn's tone screams confidence in his answer- then again, something about Finn always screams confidence. So I don't question it.

x

In the evening, my parents make plans with Katherine and Jeffery to take the big boat that belongs to the Allen's and take it across the lake where there are more hiking trails. Even though it's already getting dark out, Finn and I simply tell them to have fun, watching the way the boat slowly fades into the distance.