Badasses Under The Same Roof

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Crest

By the time we were set foot on my excuse of a lawn, the sun was switching shifts with the moon and shadows danced in the light and dark.The ghosts of Dad and Gamma's pressence were greatly accounted. My door was kicked down(probably the work of Gamma), my greying furniture was pretty torn up(probably the work of Dad),anything sharp in the house was perfectly laid down on my sad wooden table-it's sad,very sad. It's kinda just made up of abandon jenga blocks and nails.That's sad.- with a piece of paper lying on top of it. Oh I love Gamma's humor,the words impatiently scratched on the paper said "CHOOSE YOUR DAMN MOTHER FUCKING PUNISHMENT,YOU INSENSITIVE BITCH.". My chairs which were slightly less sad than my table-as it was blotched with paint from my art craze last year- were slightly cracking at the sitting surface as if Dad and Gamma had hammered down onto it with their stone hard bums countless of times while waiting for me to return.

I sigh and turn around to introduce Echo Number Whatsoever to my unwilling broken and more unwillingly more broken home. And of course she wasn't still behind me,-I swear that girl better get me a million bucks for being on whatever prank show I am in-she was lying on the grass with her arms spread eagled with a smile on her face and the hoodie hiking a little too high up her thighs.

"Echo..." I call. She shoots up and stares at me,a smile still plastered on her face. If I get raped tonight..

"The grass feels nice." She says.

*sigh* "Come on,let's get inside.It's already dark out."

After I say that, she goes into some big nonsense of mumbles about the "Under-World not having a sun and moon." About the "trees producing light." and whatever bullshit someone's paying her to say. I better get a billion for this.

When we're inside,I see her head swing left to right so hard it might fly off. She's a good actress,I have to give her that.

I walk past her to open a sad wooden door to my bedroom,which has no bed just hammocks tied here and there. But the door didn't like me and crashed into my face as a greeting. I saw Echo run behind my table before he walked passed the door and into my line of slightly blurred sight.

My dad. 

He is a short,stubby man,who actually just only came up to my ribs. His clothes are always more or less stretched-close to being ripped by his bulging muscles. My dad would most likely be the gnome you never want to run into,he's short,but he can scare the living daylights out of anyone. His eyes are black glints of menacing power because he squints. And here he is, standing over my fallen-nose bleeding body like the devil himself.

"You are in dead trouble." He growls,firing spit bullets and I see Gamma appear by his side like the menacing tree branch she is.

Gamma is stick thin, with smiling eyes and soft,swept-up-in-a-low-bun hair. But she's nothing like how she looks,which is why she's even scarier than my dad. When she was 20,she dressed up in frilly girly dresses,puts bows in her sweet short pixie hair and volunteers to enter street fights. She won everytime because her opponents always always underestimated her. She's glowering at me,I can tell by the waves of anger rolling off her,onto my father and burning me to ashes.

"I can't say she was the best person but young man,we're considering disowning you for this."

Despite me being pants-peeing scared right now,lying on the floor with a bloody nose and twin devils standing over me, I say

"Well,I suppose I'm already kinda disowned by you guys so it probably won't be that bad." and laugh nervously.

My grandmother kneels and her face is instantly only inches from mine. Her mouth opens as if she wanted to speak but she leaves it that way while glaring-piercing my eyes with daggers,burning them into kebabs,forcing my nose to breathe in her garlicky breath. 

"Is this when I die?" I squeak.

Gamma grins, showing off her intimidating yellow dentures and punches me in the gut before I black out.

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When I came to, I was sitting on one of my sad excuse of a chair, a mask of numbness starting from my butt down to my legs. Oh no, one of Gamma's signature moves, the Beeline: A punch in the gut that would make someone's body numb all over and mind shut down for a few minutes.

SHIT.

In front of me are the faces of three laughing people,two were Dad and Gamma, the Third One is an actual smiling Echo. I sighed and they turned to me.

"Who is this wonderful girl? I like her." My dad said,his voice an unexpected tone of bright and colorful.

"Yeah, she's like a doll." Gamma agreed,voice the same tone as dad's.

"Doll,but I am human." Echo says.

"Look at her,she's so stupid and clueless." Dad and Gamma say in unison.

Like mother,like son I guess. I sigh,their smiles drop and they turn to me with scary serious faces. My dad,I assume, kneels on his chair and leans across the table. 

I hope this table doesn't break.

"You can keep her but make sure you don't even set one foot into the school this entire week or you'll be expelled," He pulls away and starts mumbling to Gamma. "I swear,if he weren't my own damn flesh and bone,he wouldn't still be in this school."

I felt my right eyebrow shoot up sparks above my head.

"I'm sitting right here you know."

They roll their eyes and Echo breaks into a big smile.

"Hey. Um.. Dad, can Echo study at your school?" 

I don't know why I asked but you can never take anything back with dad. A couple minutes of Dad staring at Echo(who just stared back at him),dad having a really long sign language convo,me staring between the two and a door slam later,I'm left alone with a robot-like Echo and the not-so-comforting-conformation that I will be Echo's tour guide around school and around town.



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