Levi & Lucy

2. Lucy

I had always idolized New York City to be a place where I could find myself- and essentially, a place I could call home. 

All the books that I read, the television shows and movies that I watched made it seem like New York City was the place to be. And how could it not? The illusion of opportunity and success was its appeal to wandering souls such as myself.

 If you could make it in the Big Apple, you could make it anywhere else in the world. And perhaps, four years ago, that was what I thought I needed.

I thought it was an absolute necessity to move out to one of the most expensive cities in the world and be the first one in my family to attend an Ivy League to proof to myself and to others  that I could - and would- become an established writer. I thought by moving out here, I would finally find my purpose for living...

How stupid I was to believe that my "purpose" could somehow be hiding in a city

Four years later, I realized that my purpose- like everything else in my life- was still in the works of being defined. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to be. However, after spending four years in an overcrowded city that managed to make me feel more alone than I ever felt in my life, I knew exactly who I wanted to become. And that, to me, was far more important.

No, New York City was never meant to be my home.

But then again, I was still searching for mine.

~

"Lucy, darling! Welcome home!" 

A small- but somewhat fake- smile managed to form on my face as my mother, Elaine, rushed to meet me at the front steps. Her arms were already outstretched in an embrace, ready for me to match her sign of affection. 

Even if I did have the dying urge to hug my mother back, my left hand was preoccupied with carrying one of my bags. So, when all I could do to match my mother's gesture was a pat on the back, she didn't suspect my reluctance. 

"Helena, sweetie! Come out here and help put away some of your sister's things, will you?" Mom shouted, looking over her shoulder where my fourteen-year-old sister stood at the door with her arms crossed and an expressionless look plastered onto her face. I didn't realize it then but sister had grown significantly taller since the last time I saw her...

My heart dropped to floor when I realized just how long ago since I had even seen my sister, Helena, in my person. That was four years ago. She was ten. And instead of watching me unpack my things, she was watching me pack up my life from Portland into a small car- without her. 

I always felt like the last four years went by in a blur. However, staring at my little sister and noticing the smallest differences about her made it seem like I was gone for more than that. And I felt guilty.

"So how was your drive, darling?" Mom asked.

Her words were barely audible as I watched Helena stride down the steps of the front porch and towards our direction, not even giving me a second glance. She walked by me, her jet black hair slapping my face as she did. 

"Hello to you too, sister," I snapped.

Helena stopped walking. She then looked over her shoulder and held my gaze. "Sorry," she said, before turning around again to make her way towards the trunk of my car.

"Lucy, how was your drive?" Mom repeated.

I sighed as I shrugged. "It was fine," I replied. 

Mom was about to say something when Helena shut the hood of my trunk down. 

"Is this all you have, Lucy?" Helena asked, carrying a small box. She looked inside and made a face. "I thought you had an entire apartment in New York... like I know the places there are small, but you have got to be kidding me if this is your whole life."

"Everything's back in New York," I replied in a small tone, trying desperately to forget about exactly why I left the city in such a rush. My family weren't expecting to move in until next week on my birthday, but a conversation- or rather argument- with my boyfriend drove me out the door with less than a quarter of my belongings.

I knew I would have to drive back up to New York to retrieve the rest of my possessions, but for now, I needed to wind down and simply relax.

Helena rolled her eyes as she began walking towards the door. "Whatever. I'm just putting it in the room," she stated.

The room.

She meant "our" room.

"Well, let's go inside now, Lucy," Mom insisted as she wrapped her arms around me. "You have lots to tell me about the Big Apple."