in the middle of the night ~c.l.~

x

She took a deep breath, and hit the little camera button.

Chloe had finally decided to FaceTime Lucas about Alona.

Sure, everyone else knew. She changed her Facebook status (She felt so old, having a Facebook. But everyone who wasn't young in her family had one, and her mom and dad had to find out she was bi somehow.) to In a Relationship with Alona Santiago-Martinez. Her mother had phoned her once she saw, sounding slightly confused. Chloe had received the call whilst walking to the subway station after work, makeup half-taken off and body sore.

"Hi, baby." Christi's voice had floated clear through the speaker. "Hi, Mommy." Chloe was twenty-three damn years old and she still called her mother Mommy. No shame.

"I've just been on your Facebook..." Oh shit, here it comes, Chloe thought as she rounded a corner, "And it says you're in a relationship!"

"Yup." Chloe saw her station and hopped down the stairs.

"With a woman." Christi's voice was flat, like when she had had a bad day at the studio and Chloe accidentally did something to piss her off.

"Mm-hmm." Chloe waited in between a couple in blue sweaters holding hands and a woman with a sleeping baby in her arms, anxious.

"Honey, are you gay? Because you could've told us, and we would've been fine with it! You know me and dad support the gays! We went to that - oh god, what's it's called - with the rainbows?"

"Pride, Mom." Chloe cringed. Christi and Chloe had gone to Pride when Chloe was twelve with Christi's hairdresser and his partner and Christi was the typical straight woman at a Pride parade; wearing a rainbow Legalize It shirt, waving a flag around and whooping, while hanging over her one gay friend and his partner and speaking in a high-pitched tone, insanely drunk. Chloe had held the hand of the hairdresser, called Antonio,  and marveled over the women holding hands, kissing, being in love. Antonio had cried - he was a sensitive man - and babbled on about how the community had progressed. He had been there for the AIDS crisis; seen friends die, and no one caring: not their families, not the government, and not straight, heterosexual people. His partner, called Marcus, stayed quiet and drank his Evian water. (ok but i am actually Marcus)

"I'm not gay, Mom." Chloe replied, yelling because the train had whooshed into the station, "I'm bisexual. I still like boys."

Her mother had stayed quiet, then said softly with a twinge of forlornness, "Well, please invite her over sometime. I would love to meet her. Also, please tell us about these things?"

Chloe silently cursed herself, and sat down. She hated making anyone feel bad, especially her mom. Her mom was a cinnamon roll, too good for this world.

"Of course, Mommy. I love you."

You could hear Christi swallow back tears, missing her daughter fiercely. "I love you, too, baby girl. Goodbye."

"Bye-bye. Tell Clare-Bear and Daddy I love them."

"Okay." She had hung up, dropping her phone in her bag and letting her head fall to her hands.

If that was how mom reacted, imagine how Lucas would! Chloe felt a wave of panic, and pushed the thought back. Nope. Not thinking about that.

Lukey-Pukey, accepting FaceTime...

"Bird! Hi!" Lucas was laying on his back in his and Kalani's bed in California. They really did live in a beautiful house. Even though Kalani was a dancer and he was a student, it was nice as heck. All white walls and beautiful ocean views. All professional photographs and dance trophies.

"I've got some news for you." Chloe croaked, her anxiety flaring. Coming out is hard. You never know what someone's reaction might be.

"Me too!" Lucas exclaimed, getting up from the bed and moving around. I wonder where to...

"You say it first." Chloe itched her ribcage, hidden under a layer of leotard. She had work in two hours.

Lucas ran down a set of stairs, the phone jiggling. He grinned goofily, making Chloe feel both a bit relaxed and blushy. He's looking at me like that! But then she remembered she had a girlfriend and quit smiling like an idiot.

Lucas ended up near Kalani, who was cooking something sizzling. Her beautiful chestnut brown hair flowed around her face in thick waves. She had no makeup on, but looked lovely anyway. She chuckled sweetly when the camera was shoved into her face. "Hi, baby. Hi, Chloe." She murmured, her eyes downcast and focused on the food. It reminded Chloe of a poem Alona once read: "You are at dinner with your beautiful fiancée... And this is when a phone call interrupts. It is me..."

"We got engaged!" Lucas suddenly burst out, taking something out of Kalani's hand and showing Chloe the ring on Kalani's tan finger. Chloe blinked, her heart pounding. Engaged?

"That's - that's great! I'm so happy for you two!" She kept looking at Kalani's gentle face, intent on her dinner. Kalani was so wonderful and kind to Lucas - even if she did act coolly to Chloe at times. She'd make a kick-ass wife. But the loss of Lucas felt like a kick to the stomach.

Lucas gave his fiancée a fast peck on the cheek and maneuvered into the living room. "So, what's your news?"

"I-I'm dating a woman. I'm bisexual."

ooh we stop there

to all y'all still reading - bless u honestly. the poem is the call by sarah kay, aka my one true love.

the song is swimming pool by the front bottoms. it has nothing to do with the story - i just like the song and it's rawness.

xxx coll