in the middle of the night ~c.l.~

xi

"Chloe!" A voice screeched at Chloe after the show. She still was taking out her bobby pins and placing them on her section of the dressing room, dammit.

"Yes?" She groaned-spoke. She did not have time to deal with people. She had to go home and take a bath (she had no shower) and eat some more ham-rolled peppers.

It was Delores, another dancer in the show. Delores was known to be incredibly annoying and talented. It was a dangerous pairing.

"You totally messed up the whole combination in the third dance segment!" Their show was spilt into dance segments. There were twelve (Chloe didn't even know why she stayed with this job. Oh yeah. AWESOME PAY).

"Sorry." Chloe mumbled back sleepily.

"You don't understand, you twit!" Delores began, pulling at the ends of her short, black hair. Chloe had no more time for her shit, so she slipped out while Delores was ranting.

In the cab ride home, she lugged her laptop out of her bag and logged onto to Twitter. A few fans, a tweet from her mother, and a picture of Kalani and Lucas kissing in Ireland. It hurt like a razor slash to the wrist.

Needless to say, she logged out.

The cab stopped. She paid the woman, and rushed upstairs. Time was money.

Chloe wondered, while she was filling Cosmic's bowl with feed, if people ever thought of her. Like her laugh and her face and her voice like she did with others. She bet no one actually did.

And as she drew the bath, she wondered if anyone actually liked her. She was kind of annoying, and she didn't reply to texts until five minutes after, and she gave awful compliments, and there was just so many things about her that screamed wrong.

Being a twentysomething wasn't fun without your friends. But what happened when your friends were all moved away?

No wonder she hadn't had a boyfriend since she was twenty. She sucked at loving people. But she was an exceptional cat caregiver. Just ask Cosmic.

Chloe stepped into the bath, dunked, and grabbed the bottle of coconut shampoo on the side, massaging it into her scalp. She had always had kind of low self-esteem. That's why she did meet-and-greets. Her last meet-and-greet was when she was eighteen. She really doubted anyone would want a to meet a washed-up child star right now.

It wasn't that she thought she was ugly or fat (except for that time when she was thirteen and got a nose job because her dance teacher made fun of it all time, that bitch), it was that she was concerned if she was a good enough person.

It had never driven her to self-harm. She knew that it never helped, and she had helped fans who struggled with cutting. It seemed awful.

She dunked to rinse her hair of the shampoo. Being human was difficult. She should've been a hamster.

i'm so sorry i haven't updated, i've been busy, and school is coming up, so don't expect very many updates.