Chapter 4

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Sorry for the late chapter loves! :)

Written by EdnaAlicePine :)

C H R I S T I A N

Driving down the last road I had to take before the turn towards my house, I couldn't help but be upset with myself with how I ran out of Atticus' house.

I didn't want to make it seem like he freaked me out, 'cause he didn't. It might have been a mistake opening his notebook, but I don't regret it. Believe it or not, but I've been to a place like that, too.

Like Atticus, my pain was because of my parents. But unlike him, I wasn't hurt by what happened to them: I was hurt because of what they did to me.

It wasn't physical abuse, which sometimes I thought would've been better-instead, it was psycological.

Little comments here and there about how I'd need new clothes before the month was over because I'd outgrow my old ones, or how I ate twice as much as my Uncle Dean (who, by the way, died of chronic diabetes when I was 11).

It might not seem that bad, but I was already terribly insecure as a child. I was always a little bit more heavy set than the other kids my age in middle school, but when I got to highschool, all the fat became muscle, and I tried out for the football team. Things were finally going to start looking up, it had seemed.

But it was my senior year, and the comments still haven't stopped.

I know it's stupid and I know that something like this shouldn't get to me, especially a guy- but it did.

Pulling up to the cracked driveway, I took a moment to close my eyes, and just breathe.

I couldn't help but think how terrible it was that I wanted the next day to be here already so I could get away, to practice, even just to go to school.

Or how it wasn't fair that the place that I called home wasn't even home to me. It wasn't fair that I had to get the one set of parents that didn't care. I wouldn't wish them on anyone else, but still.. why me?

Finally, I open the door and step out of the car, knowing I was in for it. I didn't tell them I was tutoring anyone, and I honestly didn't care to. We both didn't care to acknowledge each other unless it was for family events, so they could keep their image up.

And that's all they cared about: Their image.

--

I'm just in the house, about to take off my shoes, when I hear Sam's uneasy laugh coming from the kitchen.

Confused, I yank my left shoe off the rest of the way and enter the kitchen, only to see my father, mother, other nameless guests, and Sam, who's smiling uneasily, with little remnants of tonight's dinner on their plates.

Sam's the first to see me, as his seat is facing towards the kitchen entrance. His smiles changes into a real one and he sits up straighter, obvious relief on his face.

"Chris! Your here!" I didn't miss the 'finally' he muttered under his breath, and I winced, forgetting that Sam I had invited to dinner tonight, on one of the few nights my parents would actually be home.

Usually they'd be gone weeks at a time, maybe even a month, but after that, they always came back to give me a week full of the comments they apparently missed while they were gone.

"Yeah, I started my tutor sessions today, the ones I told you about this morning, remember?" I said, not even giving a glance to my parents, hoping they wouldn't chime in.

"Oh? And who is tutoring you?" My mother's voice utters from my left.

"And are you sure your getting the sufficient time in for you to understand the concept your being taugh?" Hector's voice taunted, from my right.

Sam stiffened noticeably, but I was used to it. With a straight face, I turned towards them. "Yes, I'm sure I gave him sufficient time to study, since the student I'm tutoring only needs help in a few specific cases. Thanks for asking." Turning towards Sam, "Do you want to come up in my room now? I know the grown ups need they're time to gossip." I said distastfully, eyeing each guest here with contempt. They know they're fake, we know they're fake.. I honestly can't understand why we keep this 'perfect' pretense up.

Sam, unlike me, excuses himself from the table politely, and walks to my side, following me upstairs to my room for some well-needed peace.

--

"Jesus Christ, Chris.. did you see what you did down there? You were like 'I hate you all' and they were all like 'oh my my gosh no-' and then everybody else was like 'I'm so telling my husband this when I get home'.." He ranted, collapsing on my bed.

"You were on fire!" He continues.

I laughed, a real smile finally gracing my face for what felt like hours. "Yeah, okay.. I'm just really tired of all the fake cap that comes out of their mouth, you know? Ever since Vin died..," I trail off, almost automatically closing my mind off that train of thought.

"Hey, hey..," Sam frowned. "It's not your fault that they still haven't come to terms with your brother, okay? It's been five freaking long years and man, do they really make me re-think the definition of the words 'holding a grudge'," Sam's voice turns slightly joking towards the end, and I'm glad he did. It's hard to get the tension out of the room when you leave a huge subject like that out in the open.

For a minute, we sit in silence, and then Sam speaks up again, now teasing."So... How did tutoring sexy go today?"

I rolled my eyes, lips twitching from fighting a smile. "Dude, you really have to come to terms with your sexuality, man.." I said.

Sam snorted. "Dude, I have nothing against any sexuality.. I'm just not sure if I like one or both yet. So, like I said.. tutoring?"

I move from the door and let it shut behind me as I collapse on my chair. "Eh, you know how tutoring goes.. nothing special."

I could practically hear the scepticism in his voice. "Really? Then did something else happen outside of tutoring that I need to know about?"

"How did you know?" I asked, still amazed at how he can tell something happened, good or bad, today.

He shrugs, "I can just tell, dude. I've known you for what, nine years? Tell me what happened, dude. It can't be that bad, I mean.. your still in one piece."

"Ha ha.. I mean we were studying, and then I went through his notebook, and I saw some stuff.. I just, I forgot his parents died."

"Well, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been a nosy bitch, Chris." Sam said, a smirk on his face.

I kick him, shaking my head. "Yeah well, he'S pretty good at drawing though, there were some other drawing in there that I wished I could look at a little longer.."

"Hmm.. so cutie's got some talent, huh?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

I roll my eyes, "Dude.. stop calling him cute. Your freaking me out."

"Yeah.. cause you liikkeee him," He said annoyingly.

I launched onto to bed, smacking him. He protated a while before smacking me back, and when we calmed down we just laughed, two best friends knowing exactly what the other was thinking without even having to say it.

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