Reflection 2:Better Together

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Once I was sufficiently far enough from the house, I called myself a taxi to the airport. I left what little bit of belongings I had at Lauren's place, having nothing but my phone. There was nothing else I could do, I promised Normani. I had to keep whoever I had left in my life by my side, and Lauren was a lost cause at this point. There was no use in trying to fight for something I had destroyed, it would only make it worse. I just had to give her the space she wanted.

The taxi arrived minutes later, and I paid the driver with my credit card, not bothering to think about the fact that he could rob me blind. I honestly didn't even care, I was paining too bad, every bone in my body starting to ache.

I was numb to nearly everything, bumbling about the airport like a zombie.My whole purpose was to live with no regrets, to find security, to feel like I was good, and I dashed my chances to pieces over not being able to control my temper.

I had to ensure that my flight was in order, heading to the customs desk to buy a ticket. With no luggage, and no carry-ons it was a quickened process, and I was sitting at the gate in no time. There was a flight out to Los Angeles in four hours, so I was stuck here until then. I made myself comfortable in a corner, adjusting my leather jacket so that it covered half of my face and taking out my phone. I stared at the blank black screen, then unlocked it, opening and refreshing my iMessage. I was hoping there'd be a text from Lauren, but there was nothing. It was times like this when I felt most alone. I'd become so accustomed to constant contact from her and other people that when things fell apart either in their lives or mine, it depressed me to no end.

My fingers felt as if they were on autopilot as I typed in a familiar number, listening for the dial tone.

"Hello?"

I took a deep breath, not quite ready to speak.

"Paige, you there? Are you okay?"

"No, Justin, I'm not okay," I sighed, stiffening my trembling lower lip and trying to contain the shake in my voice, "Are you?"

I heard shuffling on the other end, voices in the background, "Yeah, what's up?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the studio writing," his tone was cold, there was no passion in his voice. That's how I knew the writing wasn't going so well, "What's the matter?"

"I just...need to come home for a while..." I admitted hesitantly, "Things are tough."

"Home? Woah, wait, you leave me and now you're calling and wanna come home? It's not your home anymore."

"I know, I shouldn't have said that, and you know I'm sorry. I never meant for there to be so much damage," I rubbed my temples which were now pounding. My eyes were starting to burn, so I closed them, leaning my head onto the chair.

There was silence for a while, "I can't stay mad at you, and it sucks because you deserve it. How long are you staying?"

"My flight leaves Miami in four hours, and maybe just until I'm ready to face things. I'm not ready to see Camila or anyone else right now."

"You were doing so great, and then... Nothing, never mind."

"No, tell me," I hated when people held things back.

"They're toxic for you. They broke you then and they're doing it again, and yet you keep going back."
"Insanity is just a repetition, I can't help myself."

"But do you want to?" Before I could answer, the line went dead.

Did he just...hang up on me? I shook it off, realizing that I most likely deserved it. The one thing I said I'd never do, I actually did-I broke our trust, and I lied about it, and now at my low point I was returning.