A Rather Destructive Fixation [Frerard]

5

A/N: It's really short im sorry its just a filler im so s o r r y -- L O V E M E

July 16th -- 6:55pm

I walked into the parking lot and glanced over at the pole involuntarily; there stood Scorpio, smoking a cigarette. I took a deep breath and marched right past him, into the building. I didn't look back, but I could practically see his face, disappointed and worried.

I walked into the large room, and the first eyes I was met with were Linda's. She looked concerned, I didn't care. I walked to a chair opposite the one I usually sat at. I sat beside a girl with bright blue eyes and brown hair. 

I put my head in my hands and sighed. I hard footsteps approaching me and I immediately knew it was either Scorpio or Linda. I looked up and to my utter surprise (Note the sarcasm), it was Scorpio.

"What's your deal?" He asked. He had the expression of a kicked puppy, and it almost broke me. Almost. I simply shrugged. 
"Didn't feel like standing outside today." I mumbled. Scorpio took a shaky breath and nodded, before walking away, back to his usual seat. There was still an empty chair beside him. He glanced at it, and then glanced back at me sadly. I looked down again.

This was a tact of self-sabotage.

I didn't deserve him. He was an angel. He was smart, genuinely kind, and beautiful; god he was so pretty. He had a perfectly sculpted face, captivating green eyes, etcetera. He deserved someone much, much better than myself.

I needed to cut this friendship short- if this even was a friendship. I considered it a friendship. Well, I don't really have anything to compare it to. Anyway, I had to cut it short because he would inevitably be hurt, whether its because I kill myself or because he gets tired of my shit and leaves. Both are extremely possible.

I sat with my head in my hands, basically unconscious for the entire two hours of group. Occasionally Linda would try to talk to me or get me to speak, I'd just ignore her. I guess I fell asleep or something because suddenly I was being shaken awake by Linda, and everyone else had left the building.

"Gerard, Gerard?" She repeatedly called. I frowned and hit her hands off of my shoulders. 
"What?" I said, wiping my right eye.

"Are you okay? You've been zoned out all group. Your friend is really worried about you." She said.
"What friend? I don't have any friends." I mumbled.

"He asked me specifically not to tell you his name for some reason." She said with a frown. 

"Oh, him." I rolled my eyes. She raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you two were close?" She said. 
"Yeah, I have to cut that." I sighed. She pulled the chair beside me around so she was facing me, and sat down.

"Why?" She asked.
"Listen, I understand you want to help but I'm not going to tell some stranger my problems." I said.
"Well, it would help." She said. "I really like you, Gerard. I genuinely want to help you. Your friend is really concerned also. Let me in." 

It was silent for a moment before I spoke, my voice cracking and tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. This was the first time I've ever talked about anything like this.

"Everything started five years ago..."

--

August 25th -- 3:45pm

"Okay... So, Gerard? What do you think?" My mom's fake-cheery voice asked. I raised an eyebrow up at her.
"What do you think I think?" I asked her like she was stupid. She scoffed and turned back to the secretary (Cheryl, her name-tag read) who looked like she didn't want to be there. 

You and me both, Cheryl.

"So school officially starts Monday, September 6th. You've registered late, but that's okay. Everything will be figured out, Gerard's classes will be delivered by mail by next week." She said, handing my mom a paper. Mom nodded, thanking her.

"See you soon." Cheryl called to me. I nodded at her and led my mother out of the building.

When we were out of the building, walking to the car that for some reason she had parked at the other end of the fucking street, she couldn't stop smiling.

"I'm really, really glad you decided to start school again." She said. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not doing this for you." I said bitterly. She sighed.

"When are you going to forgive me? It's been years." She said, as if she was telling me that what she did wasn't a big deal.
"Never." I said honestly. She sighed sadly. I didn't give a shit. 

It was quiet the rest of the walk to the car. I got in silently, and she turned on the music. I glared out the window.

"You know," She said, turning the music down. I sighed. 
"What?" I said dully.
"It wasn't my fault!" She finally snapped. "How was I supposed to know what was happening?" She yelled.
"You could've paid attention to your fucking kids!" I yelled back. "Mikey is fucking traumatized!" I yelled bitterly. She opened her mouth to reiterate, but before she could speak, a rather large vehicle collided with the driver's side door.

A/N: "We'll meet again when both our cars collide"