Prompt: 'Small Bump' part 2.
The sound of the clock ticking caused Camila to sigh as she shed her jacket, throwing it on the hook by the door as she tilted her head and listened for any noise. The sound of soft sniffling caused her to wince as she threw her hair in a ponytail, walking through the foyer and looking around her spacious LA home.
It had been almost a month since they had lost the baby, and everything in Camila's life seemed to have fallen to shambles. Lauren barely talked to anyone, Fifth Harmony was on hiatus till Lauren was better, and their marriage that had once been so strong was hanging on by a thread due to their inability to communicate.
The brunette followed the noise and stopped suddenly as she caught sight of the nursery door flooding with the light from the sun; the nursery had been off limits, Lauren had refused to step foot into and Camila knew better than to do anything without her wife approving of it first so it shocked her that Lauren had made the first step.
Taking a deep breath, Camila stepped forward and closed the distance between herself and the room and paused at the doorway as she took in Lauren sitting Indian style in the center of the half-decorated room with a set of onesies the couple had bought after finding out Lauren was pregnant.
"I was thinking the baby would wear this home, Dinah was so proud when she bought it that I thought it'd be best since it was gender friendly." Lauren whispered, a onesie with the words 'I'm Not Mexican' written across the stomach.
"They would've looked perfect in it." Camila nodded, her heart skipping a beat at the sound of her wife's voice. "I-I uh I thought we were going to do this together, I didn't want you having to go through this stuff alone."
"Yeah, I know. I just...I missed the baby today. I woke up and I thought maybe just maybe it was all just a horrible nightmare and that I was still pregnant. I thought maybe I hadn't screwed up our first chance at having..."
"You didn't screw anything up, Lauren."
"Yes I did! I was the one who lost the baby, it's all on me. I did something and I lost the baby, I lost our child." Lauren sobbed, her green eyes meeting Camila's brown. "God, how can you even look at me? How can you still possibly love me?"
"Because you're my wife, Lauren. I love you so much, no matter what happened. We can have another baby." Camila reminded her, but she regretted the words the moment they left her mouth as she watched Lauren's face crumple.
"I don't want another baby, Camz." Lauren whimpered, and the younger girl sighed heavily as she walked over to squat before the distressed woman, pulling her into her arms. "How are you so okay with this? Why doesn't any of this bother you?"
"It does bother me, Lauren. And I'm not okay with it. I miss our baby every second of every day, and I ask God all the time why he needed our son or daughter so badly. I have my questions too, but I'm trying to be strong. For you." Camila muttered.
"I've been so selfish..."
"No, you have every right to feel the way you do. It just breaks my heart seeing you like this, watching you go through so much pain. I want to make it all better for you, but I can't." Camila admitted, feeling her own eyes sting with tears.
"I want things to get better, Camz. I want to live again, I just don't know how. We...our baby is gone." Lauren murmured, shaking her head as she words registered in her mind. "Our baby, our sweet little baby, is gone and they're never coming back."
Camila sighed heavily as tears burned trails down her cheeks, her eyes squeezing shut as she cupped the back of Lauren's head and held her to her chest. She basked in the feeling of having Lauren close again, it had been a solid month spent with no contact whatsoever and to have Lauren close again felt like a miracle.
"I love you, Camila." Lauren whispered against the skin of her wife's neck, bunching her shirt in her hands. "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I've been pushing you away, and I'm sorry I lost the baby."
"Don't you dare apologize to me for that, Lauren." Camila ordered, drawing Lauren out of the hug as she stared into broken green eyes, wincing at the look in them. "I don't blame you, Lauren. I don't blame you at all."
"Yeah? Then who do we blame, Camila?"
Camila opened her mouth and closed it once again, the answer was impossible to find and she didn't know what to say to her distraught wife. Instead she settled on pulling Lauren back into her as the two blended their tears together, both feeling the deep sting of the loss they had suffered last month.
The clock continued to tick and the rush outside of the world turning filtered through the silent air, and while people moved on with their lives no one knew that two women were sat in a half decorated nursery trying to figure out if there was anywhere for them to go, if there was a life they could find to live again.
