The Truth About Kian

24. Just a puppet on a lonely string

:: C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - F O U R | JUST A PUPPET ON A LONELY STRING ::

"That's messed up." Jules handed me a mug of coffee before easing himself onto the step beside me.

"I know."

"So Kian's your half brother?"

"Yeah."

"And he killed himself because he thought Karter didn't want him?"

"It was one of the reasons." I shifted, feeling something sharp catch on the back of my leggings.

He reached for my hand, clasping it in his large palm. His warmth gradually seeped into my icy skin, and I realized that I'd been cold ever since I'd found out the truth about Kian. All that effort to find the real reason why Kian had wanted to die, and I hadn't found the closure I'd been looking for. Nothing had turned out the way I had wanted it to.

And I still had to write a feature about it.

"I'm tired, Jules. I just want to start over."

He shifted closer to me and I leaned into him. "That'd be nice," he said after a while. "But we'd probably make the same mistakes."

"Then why do we even try?"

"What else would we do?"

I shrugged, taking a sip of scalding coffee. It was black, exactly the way my mom liked it — and by default so did I.

"Kian gave up." I choked on the lump in my throat. "And he's my brother."

Jules' lips pinched. "You aren't the same person."

I wrapped my arms around my stomach, so miserable and sick with anxiety that I felt like throwing up.

Jules released my hand, setting his coffee onto the edge of the patio before cupping my face in his hands. "Don't let his choices become your choices. Please, Reed."

"Everything is falling apart," I mumbled. "My parents don't even love each other. I mean, I saw it coming — they stay as far away from each other as possible — but my mom hates my dad. Really hates him. My brother's dead and they hate each other so much that they don't even care that I lost someone too!"

I was breathing heavily, my breath coming out in short bursts that had me hunched over my knees with my arms wrapped around my shoulders. Jules rubbed my back, but it didn't help. And really, if I thought about it, nothing would.

"I'm just so tired! I hate it all, Jules. I hate how my dad thinks a heart-to-heart is going to help me forget that he hasn't been a decent dad in years. I hate how my mom doesn't even try!"

Jules was quiet for a long time. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He was just as stumped as I was.

"I need a London Fog," I said when it was clear he didn't have a solution. "Shenanigans should be open."

***

Shenanigans was bustling with all of the people I didn't want to see.

Meg and Maurice sat at a corner table, deep in conversation while their coffees steamed under their noses. Jules stiffened when he saw Maurice, shooting furtive glances at her when he thought no one was looking.

Just as we bought our drinks, Liam walked through the door. He smiled briefly at Maurice, ignored Meg who attempted to wave him over and came to stand beside us while we waited for our drinks.

"My dad asked me to give you this," he said, handing over an envelop addressed to me. "He was impressed when I told him about what you did, and I think he's looking forward to your feature."