Down For You

Chapter Thirty

Chresanto

"Chresanto You have to watch Creston." my mom yelled up the stairs. I huffed, He's three now, they need to hire a fucking babysitter. I got up and walked downstairs. My mom pointed to Creston, "Watch him." she said grabbing her coat. I looked over at him his hair was everywhere and he was slobbing all over his face and hands.

I heard the doors close and I went to pick him up. I grabbed his arm and slung him over my shoulder, he giggled a little. I rolled my eyes and stomped back upstairs. I walked in my room and threw him on my bed. He laughed even more.

"I hate you." I mumbled sitting in my bean bag chair.

"I wuv you!" he squealed. He crawled around my bed and picked up a playboy magazine. His eyes widened and I laughed. "You like that huh?" he looked up at me and started to rip out the pages.

"Aye, aye, aye!" I yelled snatching the magazine and hitting him with it. "Owwwch." he said rubbing his lip. "yea, ouch. that's what you get, don't touch my shit." I mumbled.
-_--_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-_-_

My eyes forced open and I wiped my tears eyes.

Not Today. I told myself.

I rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face, to fully awake me. I dabbed my face dry and brushed my teeth. I went and took me a shower. Until I broke down, how will I live everyday knowing my brother died under my watch. How can I live knowing his last breath was right in front of me.

I'm completely empty inside but I can't accept the fact that he's gone.

Forever.

I finished washing up and got out the shower. I flung a towel off the rack and wrapped it around my torso.

Ding
Dong
Ding
Dong

I sighed and jogged down the steps holding my towel, who would want to see me this early in the morning. I opened the door to see Yasmin on the other side. "Can I help you?" I questioned, confused on why she was here. "I came by to check on you, since your girl hasn't. I thought I'd stop by, I just finished my jog." she cheesed. I narrowed my eyes because Yasmin Doesn't live anywhere around here and she didn't even looked dressed to jog. "Well I appreciate your consideration, but don't stop by anymore." I told her.

She bit her lip, staring at me for awhile "Don't you miss me?" She placed her hand on my chest. I grabbed her hand, "Aye, I'm sorry but you gotta go!" I raised my voice, her presence was really starting to annoy me.

"Can I atleast get a bottle of water, It's so hot and I'm thirsty." she said. "No, go home." I slammed the door in her face walked back upstairs.
-_-__-_-__--__-_-__-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-

I dragged my suitcase, into this big empty house. I sighed, it was better when Chris was here. "Home sweet home." I mumbled. I took my suitcase straight downstairs to wash my dirty clothes.

After putting my load of clothes in the washer I decided to call Chresanto. I needed to be honest about what I did and tell I'm the truth about what happened while I was gone. I mean he does deserves the truth, right?

I dialed up his number and he agreed to come see me. I walked up to my mirror and examined myself. I wasn't the same Cassie, well at least I didn't feel like it.

I felt:

Dirty...

Insecure...

Useless...

Its crazy how different people make you feel.

How much worse can it get? knowing that my bestfriend did me like that. It's not my fault for expressing my feelings, it's his for not being considerate about them.

Maybe The Fame Is Already Getting To His Head.

I sighed, blowing a lose strand of hair towards the back of my head. I stared at myself a little while longer, Until the door bell rang, dragging me away from my insecurities. I opened the door to be face to face with Chresanto.

I kinda forgot how attractive was, "Are you gonna let me in or stare at me?" he smiled. I tucked in my top lip, trying to hide my embarrassment and let him inside. He steped aside next to me and waited for me to close the door.

"I missed you." I mumbled, closing the door. "I was really worried about you being down here by yourself and I want you to know that I will never walk out on you as long as your promise not to ever walk out on me." I said all in one breath. He stared at me for awhile, "I promise."

I took a sigh of relief, "With that being said, I did-"

"I don't mean to cut you off, but I really don't feel like talking, I just wanna chill with you." he bit his lip, "But it's imp-"

"It's not important."

"Um okay then." I mumbled, he grabbed my hand and we went upstairs to my room. He knew we could've watched t.v. downstairs on the couch.

Slick Ass.

We climbed in my bed. "How was the party?" Chres asked wrapping his arms around me. I coughed, uncomfortably. "Umm, it was good." I replied. He nodded, "I missed you alot I'm sorry I fucked up." he said.

Come On Cassie, Tell Him.

"Chres I messed up." I spoke up. "Okay. I did messed up really bad...."

"Me and Chris got into a really bad argument and-."

"Don't lie Cassie. If you're not ready to tell me what's really up then don't." he said, I looked up at him like he was crazy.

How'd he know I was lying?

He pulled me closer to him, making me comfortable, as I snuggled under him. He kissed the top of my head, "I love you Cassie." I smiled. "I love you too Chresanto."

Those word may vary, when I tell him what did.