The Art of Business Seduction (Boyxboy)

An Introduction to Daniel

A/N: I literally just went to Tumblr and searched 'guy ' and the wonderful power of the internet vomited up this picture of what Daniel is going to look like. Oh, and also, enjoy!

Daniel has learned a few things from life so far:

1. People suck

2. He really liked food

3. He needs money

4. Boys have cooties

5. Happy endings do not exist

People suck: He used to be the Friend of the World. He would talk to anyone and everyone, quickly shooting him to the top of the social ladder in high school. But that was high school. He's in the real world now, and the relationships, social status, and bullshit tolerance He had in high school did not transfer well into "adult society." People in the real world suck do not recognize the power and influence he once held in high school. In high school, when He said jump, people asked "how high?" As a semi-adult working as a personal assistant for the devil, He doesn't earn as much fear and respect as He thinks he deserves.

He really likes food: Food is the backbone of this nation. A day without food is a day without sunshine. Food is really one of the only things that he can tolerate at the moment. Because people suck and he's too broke for a pet to keep him company.

He needs money: Who doesn't? Beyoncé, Donald Trump, The dead. But that's not the point. He barely make enough to pay rent and buy delicious groceries. He would also like a puppy, but that's out of the question. He can barely feed myself. He has major college loans to pay off, and his boss is an ass-lamp. He cannot get a promotion even after working his ass off for 4 years with this man! He would quit, but there seems to be no jobs available to him. He sends in applications, and never receives a response.

Boys have cooties: Self-explanatory. He tells himself boys have cooties, and that's why he doesn't have a boyfriend yet. Because they're icky and He doesn't want one. So there.

Happy endings do not exist: He had to learn the hard way that happy endings are crap made up by hopeless romantics. He had a love in high school, Rodney, who he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Guess what that asshole did. He left. He left Daniel by himself on Christmas Eve, four years ago. Daniel stepped away from him for five minutes because Rodney told him to go get coffee as it was late, and when he came back, Rodney was gone. It wasn't a surprise though. Rodney had terminal brain cancer. To this day, he firmly believes that Rodney knew it was the end of his time on earth, and didn't want Daniel to see him leave. He was due to pass on soon, but Daniel didn't expect him to be taken away from him on one of the jolliest holidays of the year. This is the real reason he doesn't have a boyfriend, but he doesn't like to think about it too much. Every Christmas Eve, he visits Rodney's grave to spend the evening with him.

Despite these miraculous discoveries he's made about life, there is still a small part of his brain that refuses to conform to the above revelations/self-laws. Sometimes, he begins to feel glum, especially near the anniversary of Rodney's death, but this part of him reassures him time and again that things will get better. That part of his brain is a real "glass half full" type of guy.