A few words about dialogue:
Keep the screams, squeals, and screeches to a minimum. Please do not have your characters scream every single thing they say, even if you are trying to use that to show that they're hyper. It's not necessary. Screaming is for frightening situations or extreme pain. In rare cases, a character will scream in frustration or joy. That's it. That is all. I promise you, some girl screaming everthing she says is not interesting, just annoying. I won't read more after about 4 paragraphs of that, and I sure won't vote for it anymore. Most of my friends won't, either.
You don't have to write 'he said' or 'she replied' every time someone says something. Don't have people 'state' things all the time either. Redundancy sucks.
