Hiraeth (A HideKane/ KaneHide multichapter fic)

Chapter 3

I do not own this story. It is written by Aellia on FanFiction.net. All credits go to her.

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ao3: Aeliia
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Hide took a sip of the coffee, relishing in the fact that he could at least still have that. The realization that he would never be able to eat at Big Girl's again saddened him; how had Kaneki survived all this time without eating a hamburger?

"Kaneki..." he groaned. "I can't do it. I can't not eat burgers, man!"

Kaneki chuckled. "I think you'll find not being able to eat burgers will be the least of your problems," he replied, stretching.

Hide sat up on the bed they both occupied. "Oh, yeah? What's worse then?"

Kaneki gave him the 'are you even serious right now'look. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you have to learn how to fight and you don't have a muscle on your body?"

"That's a complete lie!" Hide exclaimed, pulling up the sleeve of his shirt and flexing. "Look at this!"

"Mhmm, yeah," his friend responded, going back to his book. He was rereading The Black Goat's Egg for probably the hundredth time. Hide had tried the book once, but he couldn't get into it. He also didn't see how Kaneki could ever reread something; Hide could never reread or re-watch anything without being completely bored to death.

He and Kaneki were almost complete opposites, but, as they say, opposites attract. Kaneki was a quiet, reserved book reader who only spoke when absolutely necessary or when he was with someone he was comfortable around. Hide was loud, outgoing, and had always been able to pick up on little things. He was very perceptive and intuitive-Kaneki, on the other hand, couldn't pick up a hint even if it introduced itself and then slapped him in the face. Maybe he had lost some of his thickheaded-ness in the time they had been apart.

It had been a few days since Kaneki and Tsukiyama had found Hide in Kanou's lab. Once they had made it to where the group was staying, Kaneki had explained everything to him-why he left, what happened afterwards, and where they were now. There were no clear plans for the future yet. They were "in between missions," as he called it.

Hide had met Hinami and Banjou, finding that he enjoyed both of their companies. Tsukiyama, on the other hand, always seemed to stand a little too close for his liking. Even Kaneki, as oblivious as he was, saw that this bothered Hide to some extent, and had a talk with Tsukiyama. He backed off afterwards, but Hide could tell he was just waiting for his chance.

No progress on controlling his kakugan. It flared up at random times, even when he wasn't hungry. Hide hadn't exactly felt "ghoul hunger" yet. He was still adjusting to the idea that he was a ghoul; he wasn't entirely sure he was up for eating human meat yet.

Oh, god. He would have to eat human. The thought hit him like a brick, and his stomach churned. He wasn't sure if he could do it. It was so disgusting to even think about. He decided to confront Kaneki on the matter.

"Yo, Kaneki," Hide said. Kaneki looked up from his book. "How did you first eat...you know." He cleared his throat awkwardly.

Kaneki sighed, creased the corner of the page he was on, and closed the book. "I had a feeling you'd ask," he replied. "I was starving, but I refused to eat. It felt...wrong. But it was pure torture not eating. When I first found out Touka was a ghoul"-Touka, the name was familiar to Hide. It was one he hadn't heard in a while. And then he remembered; Kaneki was referring to the female worker at Anteiku. Hide had his suspicions about her, and it looked like he had been right-"I was in a back alley. I had been enticed there by the smell of a corpse. I felt ashamed of myself, and I refused to eat it. But Touka shoved some of it in my mouth in an attempt to help me. I threw it up. After the fight with Nishio, though, they took us back to Anteiku and fed me in my sleep. I was mortified when I realized."