Hiraeth (A HideKane/ KaneHide multichapter fic)

Chapter 8

I do not own this story. It is written by Aellia on FanFiction.net. All credits go to her.

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Hide was awakened by shaking. "Hide, wake up. We're leaving."

"Five more minutes," he groaned groggily. He had fallen asleep on the bed while reading a book in the middle of the day. Kaneki continued to shake him until he cracked open a sleepy eye.

"Hide, this is important. Get up." Kaneki's voice had a sense of urgency.

Hide sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What's going on?" he asked.

"The CCG. They're moving in on Anteiku."

The news was so sudden that it made Hide's head spin as the group made their way to Anteiku. Just yesterday he and Kaneki were betting how badly Hide would do as a waiter; now, it seemed, they weren't going to get to see who would win.

Yomo was already there, helping everyone move their things out. After Kaneki had heard the men discussing the attack at the coffee shop he had been in, Yomo was the first one he told. Touka and Kaneki passed each other wordlessly, Touka carrying a box of cups out. Her eyes were sad.

Why was this happening so abruptly? One day they had been fine, the next-this. Kaneki had been planning on returning to Anteiku, the rest would have followed, and everything would have been okay.

And then Hide remembered he was living in the world of ghouls, where nothing would ever be okay. Their position was constantly changing. Sometimes they were on the offense, sometimes they were on the defense. No matter what they were on, though, they were always in danger.

All of a sudden, the urge to break down hit Hide like a brick wall. He had only been involved with Anteiku for a few weeks and yet he felt extremely connected to it. He didn't want to think about the shop being destroyed, or the people in it being hurt. Suddenly, he understood Kaneki's wanting to become stronger to protect the things he cared about. While his wish had turned into somewhat of a delusion and he became misguided, Hide couldn't help but wonder if he should try to achieve the same thing.

No, it wouldn't do anyone any good. He thought back to what Touka had said to Kaneki. She worded it harshly, but she was right. Kaneki was a fragile, lonely boy who couldn't stand the thought of losing something important to him. Hide had known this for all the time he had known Kaneki; it was just a part of him. It became especially worse, though, after his mother's death. That had really hit him hard, and, unknowingly, he became progressively like her as the years went by.

Maybe the others couldn't see it, but Hide could. Loneliness was inscribed onto Kaneki's very being in permanent ink, and no amount of cleansing would make it go away. But that was okay, because it made Kaneki who he was. Even if he wasn't the most jovial and lively person in the world, Hide loved him no matter what, and he vowed to make as much of that loneliness as he could disappear.

Nishio passed Hide and Kaneki while going down the stairs. "Hey, shitheads, listen to me," he said to them. "...Don't get hurt when this thing goes down."

Normally, Hide would have grinned and teased him about his concern for them, but not that day. "Thanks. You too, Nishio." Nishio grunted and nodded in response before continuing on his way down the steps.