Hiraeth (A HideKane/ KaneHide multichapter fic)

Chapter 23

I do not own this story. It is written by Aellia on FanFiction.net. All credits go to her.

Ways to reach the author:
ao3: Aeliia
http://www.fanfiction.net: Aeliia
tumblr: memesbeforedark/sunshineboyhide
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if you asked me what my favorite chapter to write was in the entire story this would probably be it just because Touka is a sass queen and Kanae literally cannot deal

aLSO I FINALLY BROKE MY WRITER'S BLOCK BLESS THE LORD

They kept feeding him and feeding him, giving him more and more food each time he managed to choke down what had been set in front of him before. The taste of rotten flesh lingered in his mouth for hours even after a feeding session. They were forcing him to eat ghoul meat in order to get stronger so they could use him to the best of his abilities.

Hide's stomach felt like it was about to burst. But he kept going as Eto giggled and set more of the horrid meat in front of him. He had to keep up appearances. He had to make it seem like his mind was broken, or they would keep torturing him. And if they did that, they might just actually break it.

Three days of physical torture, nine hours of mental. That was what he'd been subjected to so far, and he had no desire to increase those numbers. When he awoke after slipping into unconsciousness after the water torture, Kanou asked if he were ready to join their cause. Hell no, was what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell them off, tell them that he was going to fight no matter what. But instead, he simply nodded mindlessly.

He had almost been driven to the brink of insanity. The constant dripping of the water on his forehead, the bindings that kept him from thrashing-it had almost been too much. But unconsciousness hit him right when it needed to, and it spared him, allowing him to rest his foggy mind and begin recovery. For a day or two afterwards, he was still a little out of it, but it gradually improved.

How long had it been now, anyways? Six days? Seven? He didn't even know anymore. Time was just a number now. It meant nothing. All that mattered was deceiving them into thinking he'd cracked and surviving another day, which meant he had to show absolutely no signs of opposition to anything they did. This would have been fine if not for Eto. Occasionally, when Kanou was off somewhere else, she would find her way into the room he was being kept in and torment him.

"We were always watching, you know," she said, skipping merrily around the chair in the middle of the room. Hide was lying down on the bed, facing the wall. This room was sort of like a prison cell-the bed on which he was lying was small and hard, and there was a toilet that whoever kept this place clean had been neglecting to scrub for ages. And then there was the chair in the middle of the room. What purpose that stupid little chair served, he had no clue. But he refused to sit in it. "You and Kaneki put on quite the show at times."

He didn't respond.

"The shows were especially good at night. How pointless all that pleasure is now." Hide felt her ghost a hand over his hips and shoulders, and he willed himself not to shudder. She laughed and pulled back, spinning around in a circle. "Do you wish he were coming? Does it hurt knowing they all abandoned you?"

Once again, Hide didn't reply. Suddenly, an acute pain in his abdomen made him groan in distress. She'd pierced him with her kagune again. "N-no," he stammered, gritting his teeth. "I don't care about any of them anymore. Just use me and be done with me."