Hiraeth (A HideKane/ KaneHide multichapter fic)

Chapter 6

I do not own this story. It is written by Aellia on FanFiction.net. All credits go to her.

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It was raining.

Hide's mood was always dampened by the rain. Turning away from the window, Hide watched as Touka served a customer nearby to him his order. The customer thanked her and then said something else, to which she smiled shyly in response before moving away from the table. She sat down in the empty chair at Hide's.

"Ugh, men are so annoying," she stated, "and I have to be nice to every single one of them." She looked out the window in annoyance.

Hide snickered. "Aw, come on. We're not all that bad," he said.

Touka glanced at him out of the corner of her visible eye. "Yeah, you're right. Some of you are much worse than others."

"Ouch! That really hurts, Touka!" A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, but she quickly hid it. Hide could tell she harbored some guilt over what happened, but decided not to bring it up. He had healed and was now perfectly fine, and she would move on. After all, she had done worse to people.

Yes, most of the people here had done much, much worse to people. Hide hoped with all his heart that he would never have to harm another person. But, deep within his mind, he knew that hope was a lost cause. He was a ghoul, and ghouls hurt others so they could go on surviving. That was just how it was.

Why was he thinking so morbidly lately? It was the rain-it had to be the rain. It was the one thing that quelled his usual boisterous, jovial personality and made him introspective and dismal.

"You're oddly quiet," Touka commented.

"Oh, sorry," Hide replied, coming out of his daze. "I was just lost in thought."

She nodded. "I've always liked the rain. It feels like a new start, like I'm washing away all the bad things I've done since the last one. Then I do more bad things and wait for them to be washed away as well." She paused and then added, "It's the only way we keep ourselves going, convincing ourselves that the things we do aren't bad, just necessary. But they feel bad, you know? Sometimes it feels like I'm a walking, talking sin. I hate it," she finished quietly.

"The things ghouls have to do to in order to survive are wrong, yeah," Hide stated, "but that doesn't mean you should blame yourself for it. There has to be some reason ghouls exist other than to remind people to lock their doors at night, right?"

"But the thing is, none of us know that reason. We're all still searching for it," she replied blankly. Then she faced him and said, "And soon enough, you'll be searching too." With that, Touka stood, pushed in the chair, and walked away. Hide sighed.

He hated the rain.

Hide spent most of his days wandering around Anteiku, helping out as much as he could. He didn't officially work there yet, but he did small odd jobs like fixing a broken coffee machine and sweeping the shop. While it wasn't his first choice of things to do, he considered it repayment towards his fighting lessons with Touka.

Kaneki, despite having stated that he was finished training with her, relented and let them practice more-with him observing, of course. According to Touka, Hide was a much faster learner than Kaneki at fighting. This wasn't a surprise; Kaneki's past gentle and calm nature didn't exactly make him a worthy fighting candidate.