Heal my heart.

28

Alastair
I go up to Mr. Robert's hotel room. I admire the posh interiors as I walk along the corridors. Not that I can't afford it or I'm miserly, but I still don't believe in throwing cash away where it isn't needed. I enter the elevator and the lift takes me up. A young man standing next to me stares at me unblinkingly. After a while, he asks,"Aren't you Alastair Kerr?" I nod. "I'm a big fan of your work. I hope to be like you someday." He says with a twinkle in his eye. I don't know where this guy might have heard of me but I give him a genuine smile. "Thank you. I hope you achieve more than I did." I say. He looks like a fangirl and then we arrive on the twentieth floor. Too many floors for a hotel. But people might be living here as a resident. I take a deep breathe and get out of the lift. I walk upto room 2005 and press the intercom. My spine tingles and I press the doorbell. Mr. Robert's assistant opens the door and doesn't ask for permission to his boss as he ushers me inside. Nervousness is bursting within me but I try to control it.
Mr. Roberts sits there in his white robe that he wears after having a bath and his bald head shines in the light.
"Sit down." He says without looking up from the papers. There's no one in here except for the two of us.
I sit hesitantly down on the couch. This man moulded me and helped me stand on my feet, but sacrificing the only ray of hope in my life for his daughter isn't fair.
"What did you want to talk about?" He says while putting the lid to his pen and finally facing me as he leant back.
The words are dangling on my tongue but they refuse to come out. My mind feels numb and my hands go cold. He waits patiently for me to speak.
"I don't want to marry Paige." I get it out. I said that in a throaty voice, and I'm apprehensive about how I sounded. My hands break out in a sweat.
Mr. Roberts looked at me over his glasses. His expression gave nothing away and he maintained a blank face. I was growing more nervous by the minute.
"And why is that?" He asks in a grave voice.
I try to force out some words. "Apparently it isn't working out. I don't think we'll last." I say.
"Is there another woman here?" He asks, still with the same expression and same position.
"Not really." I mutter.
"What does that even mean? Yes or no?" He asks.
It's better not to pull Gracie in between all this. Her work life might get messed up. "No." I say.
"Okay are you sure you don't want to marry my daughter?" He asks.
I look up in shock. This meeting can't go so easily. There's more over here.
"No." I drag.
"So I guess I'll have to remove your name from the list of the part owners of our company, not to mention that Owen Horton was dying to become the CEO and was quite crazy about my daughter as well."
I gulp. "But sir, I believe I've earned what I have now. I've worked hard for it. Due to a personal choice, all that shouldn't be snatched from me, because I deserve it."
"Maybe. But then I need my son in law to carry on my business after me along with my daughter. You won't be able to do that. Also, you're not leaving my daughter for a very valid reason." He says.
"Sir please don't do this." It's terrible how pathetic I sound.
"I don't want to do this. But you're bringing it upon yourself. Calm down though, you'll still be an employee, a respectable one at our office." He says while waving his pen around in the air very nonchalantly.
I sigh. "See, take some time and make your own decision. Leave whatever you're leaving Paige for and come back to us. My daughter loves you and I'll do anything for her happiness. Sure if you leave, she might be sad but I'll make sure she gets over it. What I want is you not to leave. Because you're an asset to us too. But my daughter is more important, I'm sorry." He shrugs.
I feel so angry but I'm so helpless that I just sit there. Memories of Grace and me flashes below my eyes. Memories of our eighteen year old selves. And then the phase when I left her. Darkness and a hollow. And the time when she came back to me. I thought of all we've been through, of all we've done and despite everything how we've stuck together. When recently, we took a break from each other but all I did was think about her every waking moment. In front of her, I'm ready to let go of all the wordly pleasures. She's my sin and she's my goodness.
I look at Mr. Roberts with steely resolve in my eyes. "I don't want to marry Paige and I'm ready to give up on all of that."
Mr. Roberts looks shocked but he doesn't let it seep out a bit. I get up and button up my suit, ready to walk out of the room. "Alastair." Mr. Roberts calls out and I pause near the doorway. "Think wisely and make the decision. I'm serious about this." He says and I walk off, shutting the door lightly behind me. I maybe leaving the man, but I'll still maintain my manners and gratitude.

I get in the car and press the accelerator, the beast coming to life. I drove all the way, feeling happy with myself. Maybe not happy, but satisfied. I don't want to think about all what I've lost, instead concentrating on what I've gained. And what I've gained is worth every fucking inch of what I let go of.