The Pain of We (ON HOLD)

1

You were sitting so quietly, with your knees at your chest and your eyes threatening to release the tears slowly forming in your eyes. I wanted to go and comfort you, but I couldn't. I didn't know how.

If a kid breaks in school and no one around chooses to hear

Do they make a sound?

I fiddled with my thumbs, pulling my jacket sleeves up over my knuckles. I crossed my legs under the small desk, my foot starting to shake. I was trying to pay attention to my teacher, but his voice was slowly becoming background noise.

I glanced at the clock, not sure of when the bell was supposed to ring, I just hoped it was soon.

"Lark?"

I glanced up, snapping out of my haze. The teacher's eye brows were raised, waiting for an answer.

I bit the inside of my lip. "Could you repeat the question?"

"What do you need to have a correct compound sentence?"

"Oh. A comma and a conjunction, or a semi-colon."

She moved on. I let out a breath.

Safe for now.

The bell rang and I stood up, grabbing my literature book and getting out of the class and to my locker as quick as I could.

I didn't even look to see if you were okay.

...
I sat down on the bus, gripping the leather. I put my earbuds in and turned up my music, ready to tune out the world around me. The sky was dark and ominous, ready to rain. It's always like that.

I glanced up. You were one of the last to step onto the bus. You glanced around the back of the bus where the high schoolers reigned, looking for a seat. I looked beside me, noticing I was alone. I scooted to the middle so maybe, just maybe you'd think there wasn't a spot open.

The bus started to move and you hurried to one of the first seats, stuck by the middle schoolers. I felt bad for moving.

I leaned my head against the cold window pane and let out a breath.

...
The bus stopped and I stood. I walked down the aisle, barely even glancing at you. I stepped down the steps, mumbling a small thanks to the driver, Jane.

I hitched my backpack and started walking, the ground rumbling beneath me as the sky grumbled. Fat drops started to fall. I got the mail from my mail box and tucked the various letters under my arm. I jogged up to the house.

I was soaked by the time I made it to the porch. My sneakers were soaked and caked in mud. I slid them off on the wood and ran a wet hand through my cat's fur. She hissed and jumped off of the white wicker chair she was sitting in.

I leaned over and unlocked my front door. A foul odor hit my nose and I stuck out my tongue. I sat down my backpack on the stairs and walked into the kitchen. The sink was full of day old dishes. I rinsed them off and took the trash out to the front porch.

I sat down at the table and looked through the mail. Bill. Bill. Bill. Junk mail. Bill. Letter from Dad's work.

I tossed them into a pile in the corner with the rest of the mail we've never opened.

I wiped down the counter and looked in the fridge for something to cook for dinner. I decided on burgers. I put some meat on the counter to defrost.

I cleaned up the kitchen and grabbed my backpack, heading up to my room.

My room is my sanctuary. A few old quilts sat on my bed, my pillows flat. I had one small window above my bed. There was a bare bulb from the ceiling and the wall paper is wilting. But this is my space. Sure it's dark and cold, but it doesn't reek of stale cigarette smoke, it doesn't have empty beer bottles littered around the floor.

I sat on my bed and looked at the time. A little after five. Dad would be home around five thirty. I glanced at the picture of my mom I had on my end table. She was smiling, sharing the same eyes with me. My father's face was burned out of the picture, so it was just my mother and me.

I smiled just as lightning lit up the world outside.

The door downstairs banged shut and I was standing in a flash, flying down the stairs.

Dad stood in the doorway, his coat wet with rain, anger on his face. "Why the hell is there trash on my porch?"

"It's raining, I didn't want to get all wet taking it out to the bins." I stood at the foot of the stairs, my heart pounding. He wasn't supposed to be home this early. "Do you want a beer?"

He glared at me before walking to the living room, plopping down on the couch and lighting a cigarette. I hustled into the kitchen and got a beer for him.

I put on my hat and my rain boots and took the trash out to the curb.

...
He called me down at ten fifty. I stood in front of him, standing tall. "Yes?"

He tilted his chin up. My heart dropped in my chest and I turned around. I pulled off my shirt slowly. I shut my eyes and heard the leather creak as he stood. I took a breath and felt a burning pain on my shoulder. I tried not to cry out loud. He pushed the cigarette deeper into my skin and my eyes started to water.

He breathed a line of smoke by my ear and pressed another cigarette into my back. This time a small cry escaped my lips. He hit the back of my head. "Toughen up."

I nodded and he repeated the process until I had five new circles burned into my skin.

"Now go." I nodded and ran up the stairs.

Shout out to sydniesue for giving me the first line.

Sorry if there are any random mistakes. I know that it says her name is Dakota for the first few chapters. I changed her name and it is actually lark. If these problems continue, I may have to delete this version and add another.

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