Finding Home #SYTYCW15 #SpecialEdition

Finding Home Part 13

Chapter Twelve

"Well, I guess it was a good thing you were in the emergency room, huh?"

Andie could hear Conner's voice and she struggled to open her eyes. She was lying on a hospital bed, staring up at a drop-tile ceiling. It took her a moment to remember where she was, why she was there. And then she turned her head to look at Conner in the bed next to her.

He tried to grin, but it was a little lopsided. He winced as it pulled at the mess of his face. "Man, a guy tries to help someone out and look where it lands him."

"Oh, Conner," Andie whispered. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, then sat there a minute as the room took a slow, sickening swing around her.

"Easy there," Conner said. He looked around like he was trying to find a nurse to keep her where she was.

Andie put her feet on the floor, then slowly stood up. When she managed that fine, she walked over to the bed, gently gathered Conner's fingers in her own. "What happened?"

He shrugged one shoulder then let out a little gasp as his free hand pressed against his ribs. "Logan's ankle twisted and he stumbled. The edge of the cliff started to crumble and I pulled him back. I got caught in it. It was a freak thing."

"It wasn't his fault, Andie. It was mine," Logan said from the next bed, his voice loud in the hushed room. "He told me I was walking too close to the cliff and I didn't listen. The only reason he was close enough to get to me was because he was coming over to haul me back. It was my fault. I should have listened."

Conner gave him a look. "Yeah, you should have listened, but a cliff edge crumbling isn't anyone's fault. I'll be fine, and next time, you'll know better. That's what a guide's job is; to tell you when something isn't safe. We're not there to blow smoke up your ass."

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

Andie could see the edge of Logan's face as the shimmer of tears slid down one cheek. She sighed. Yeah, everyone was fine. This time. But what about the next time? And for Conner, there would always be a next time. Like he'd said, it was his job. How long would it take before he was seriously hurt? Before he was killed? How long before she had to bear another unthinkable loss?

She looked down, at Conner's bruised and broken body against the hospital pillow and thought of her father, how he had laid in a bed like this, how he had broken and slipped away. Something flared and burned in her heart so suddenly and so fiercely that for several long moments she couldn't even manage to drag a breath in past the pain of it.

When she managed to tamp it down, when she managed to focus on Conner again, he was watching her. And she could see the pain and the fear in his eyes as his fingers tightened around hers. He knew.

"Don't, Andie. Don't do it. It was an accident."

She laughed, the rough edges of it tearing at her throat. "An accident. It's always an accident, isn't it? Do you know what the definition of an accident is, Conner? I do," she said, not giving him the chance to answer. "I do because I memorized it after my parents died. An accident is 'an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.' Unexpected and unintentional, Conner. So how can you tell me you'll be safe, that nothing will happen to you? How can you tell me it's okay to take a risk on you? Because the way I see it, the odds aren't in your favor. You're a bush pilot for God's sake! You put yourself in survival situations for fun! It's only a matter of time, Conner, and you know it. Are you going to give it up for me? Are you going to put aside the one thing in the world that makes you the happiest? And even if you would, do you think I would let you?" She stared at him, feeling the pressure in her chest squeeze tighter and tighter, until every nerve in her body felt like it was on fire. But it was nothing compared to the despair she could see starting to smolder behind his eyes.