I Love You to Hell and Back (SOCKATHAN)

One

(Just a quick note! I will kind of be following the storyline of Welcome to Hell, but I will be changing it up a bit. WELCOME TO HELL AND ALL OF ITS CONTENT DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! Enjoy!)

(Sock's POV)

One struggle after another, as they say. You see, sleepwalking was bad for me as a child, but how the hell am I supposed to explain that to police? "Oh yeah, I just went to the kitchen for milk at midnight but my conscience saw the knives and had other ideas." Yeah. No. Not gonna cut it.

Actually, that's not the first time this has happened. I murdered my pet rabbit in my sleep once and my parents thought my bloody masterpiece was more of an eye-widening stinky mess that made them feel the need to hide the kitchen knives for a few years. Parents. What do they know?

As I sat by their graves, I wondered what would come next. Explaining to police was pointless, and I'm pretty sure cons wouldn't be too fond of a short, scrawny, annoying kid with the worst hair on the block. I'd be killed in prison faster than you can say "suicide".

Suicide... suicide! That's it! The one way out, and there's an afterlife, right? No worries!

I grabbed the knife I kept in my pocket, looking into its shiny blade.

"Well old friend, never thought I'd find myself at your business end. Hmm.. last words? Eulogy? I suppose it doesn't really matter, it's not like anyone's listening or watching me right now."

And with that, there the knife went, into my chest. Sure, it hurt, but not as much as you'd think. I found myself sitting on my ass in a black place.

"Welcome to Hell, would ya like a hand?"

I looked up, seeing a man who had an orange beard that lined his entire face.

"Sure, thank you, sir." I said, grabbing his hand. He sat on the edge of his desk, smirking.

"This is my office. Have a seat."

I sat down, looking up at him.

"Do you know why you're here, Mr. Sowachowski?"

"Because I killed my parents. Killed myself.."

"Yeah, well, I'd kill my parents too if they named me Sock.

"Where's all the brimstone and fire? Why am I not being tortured as we speak, suffering for all eternity?"

He walked past me, snickering. "Oh, don't sound so desperate, kid! See, I'm currently in the process of having Hell renovated." He walked up to a door with a window. "Everyone's off the hook right now. The only one suffering.. is ME. Would you look at this place?! It's a freakin mess!"

He opened up the blinds, a green glow visible from outside. I walked over and peered out with him.

"The gluttons and the lawyers are in the middle of what looks like a turf war. The murderers have been hanging out with the network executives, that simply can't be a good influence on them."

He bit down on his nails, and I just raised an eyebrow.

"The murderers or the network executives?"

He grabbed my shirt, before crying into his hands. "Either!"

"So.. what's gonna happen?"

He pulled his face out of his hands, putting an arm around my shoulders and turning me around. "What's gonna happen is I'm gonna make you an offer."

"Oh, you mean like a deal with the Devil!"

"I mean like a job offer. Oh come off it Sowachowski, I already have your soul, you think I'm gonna challenge you to a fiddling contest or something? Anyway, the truth is kiddo, you remind me o' myself."

I pulled away, giving him a confused look. "Myself? But you're-"

"Mephistopheles. Please, call me Mephistopheles."

A smiled up at him. "Well as long as we're gonna be all buddy-buddy about it, you can call me Sock."

He smirked. "Alright Sowachowski, Sock it is."

I sat back down in the chair,

"Okay then, lemme just pull up your file.. y'know you think being on a separate plain of existence and all we'd have something more sophisticated than a file cabinet buutt you'd be wrong." He said, going through some files in a drawer.

"So, tell me Sock, how'd you get into the whole killing people thing?"

My eyes widened. "Well it's.. it's kinda personal.."

"I won't tell a soul." He smirked.

"Well I mean it's.. it's a long story.."

"Oh I've got an eternity." He grinned, whipping out one of the many drawers on the file cabinet, and it went out for miles.

"Do you ever plan to stop responding in clever puns?"

"When this place freezes over! Aha! Found it!" He said, pulling out one of the files and holding it up. He sat back down, snapping his fingers. The entire 3 miles of drawer came flying back in and sealed shut neatly in place with the others. "Now Sock, this demonary position I'm about to offer you is kiiiind of a big deal. You'll be assigned to a human counterpart. It is your job to haunt,"

My eyes widened.

"..torment,"

I perked up with a grin.

"..pester,"

I turned my head in confusion.

"..aaannnddd be a general nuisance to this human until eventually he uh- y'know- punches his own ticket."

I was now jumping up in down in my seat with excitement.

"We may still be under construction, but we still have a quota th-"

I stood up, cutting him off. "You mean I get to kill people?"

"Nnnnnot exactly. You get to help people kill themselves."

I leaned back, crossing my arms and smirking. "Hmm.. and if I decline your offer?"

He just smiled. "You won't."

"Ha, well, I can't argue with that!"

He slid a file across the desk to me. "Your first assignment is in there. You work 5 days a week, 9 to 5, and you get weekends off. She only gives Sundays off, y'know, and I'm the bad guy."

As he went on, I grabbed the file, opening it up and looking inside. I looked at the name. Jonathan Combs. I looked at the picture.

Holy fuck.

This is gonna be hard.